User:Steven Crossin/Disclosure

Disclosure
I joined Wikipedia back in February 2008 and became very active in a lot of areas, and I got a lot of compliments, after only a few months many people were suggesting I should become an admin soon. I became particularly good friends with User:Chet B Long (now User:Coffee) and User:PeterSymonds, two admins with whom I frequently interacted and who commonly responded to my CSDs and similar admin requests. They were on IRC and I would mention to one of them that I had tagged some particular pages and they would address the CSD rather than wait for some random admin to clear the category. We saw this as more efficient and we were careful not to apply bias towards each other, though we probably did without knowing it.

In July 2008, Peter typed his password into IRC by accident, and I tested it to see if he had the same password on Wikipedia, which he did. It's not something that I really thought over much. I told him about this and convinced him to not change his password, instead he allowed me to use it and I did so, very actively. I primarily used it for speedy deletions of the same kinds of things I would have previously tagged and then told them about.

At some point I told Chet about this and asked him if I could use his password too, he gave it to me and I gave him my password as well. I used his account one time to do a protection, but I didn't really have any need to use two admin accounts and Chet had been more nervous about the whole thing, so I didn't use it again. Chet also used my account once here.

On August 17, 2008 (give or take a few days but was no later than 20 August) I was checkusered on an unrelated matter and it was discovered that I had used the accounts of Peter and Chet. Within a few days there was a thread at the administrators noticeboard, and Peter and Chet had both resigned their adminship Coffee, Peter (both were later restored Chet resysop motion, Peter's RFA and Peter is now a Steward). I, on the other hand, pointed the finger at others, tried to rationalise my actions, and didn't take responsibility for what I did. I over-reacted to comments, I asked for help on IRC and shared chat logs and private e-mails of discussions with several users, including Jennavecia and former arbitrator Deskana, thinking this would somehow help me.

I wore out what credibility I had left and that's what made me so different from Peter and Chet who were contrite and apologetic and quietly left the scene in as respectful a manner as was possible for them. I begged ArbCom not to ban me via during e-mail exchanges. They decided I had to go but they relented and termed it a "mutually agreed to long break", they never stated the term publicly but privately (via e-mail) I had agreed that it would be the same as a ban, enforceable by blocking, and that I wouldn't ask to have it lifted for at least six months.

Within a few weeks, friends and other users who are attracted to drama were trying to get me back. I posted to my own page asking to be allowed to return here and I posted to Jimbo's page as well here, elevating the drama even further. I willingly let them believe that there was no ban, that there was no time set, and that ArbCom had overstepped its authority, which appealed to certain editors who were always out to criticize ArbCom. This was particularly low as many of the people who had supported me the most before and had talked about supporting me for admin were sitting on ArbCom. FloNight blocked me here. But I still hadn't learned. I thought it had just all been blown out of proportion.

A user on Simple Wikipedia, SwirlBoy39, then emailed me asking me to make a complex edit (I think to a template) under his account, as he knew of course what I had done on Wikipedia. He gave me his password and I logged in. I logged out without making the edit. However, I mentioned this to a friend on IRC and later found there was a belief that I had edited under that account, I am certain that I never told anyone that I had and I have checked records from that time and can identify no edit that I would have made. I am nearly 100% certain that I never made an edit. I also edited once as an IP to revert vandalism here, during my ban.

When my ban expired in 2009, I came back again and continued editing how I had before I was banned. I got a lot of support back from a lot of people and didn't really consider what I'd done was all that bad, indeed I was hardly graceful about sitting through my ban, having requested it be lifted at least once after I was blocked.

I had an RFA in September 2009, where I left out details, such as the Simple incident, until others brought them up and I didn't give straight forward answers; still rationalising what I did and failing to truly recognise what I did was wrong. When the RFA withdrew, it was really only then that I understood how bad what I did was, how grossly I violated our principles and how much my actions damaged the community. I left Wikipedia around December for a while. My interests changed, and real life changed a lot, I changed jobs, got remarried and had a daughter. I grew up a lot and learned a lot.

I am grateful to still be an active Wikipedian, that Coffee and Peter are still my friends, and that many people whose trust I betrayed have forgiven me. I have learned several hard and important lessons, primarily: to think through things before you act, and to consider the consequences first. Unfortunately, it took the loss of the community's trust and respect, and a six month ban, for me to learn that, as well as the loss of several friends within the community. Although most Wikipedians don't need this kind of lesson, in the end, I did and it has made me a better and stronger member of the community.

Related Links

 * The AN thread
 * AN thread reviewing my ban one month later
 * Thread on my talk page requesting ban review, and subsequent block by ArbCom
 * Requests for clarification at ArbCom while ban discussion was underway
 * Chet resysopped by motion of ArbCom
 * Peter resysopped 5mths after resigning
 * IP vandalism revert by me while banned
 * My 2009 RFA
 * My 2011 RFA