User:Sthapa20/Social anxiety/Chalktalk1 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sthapa20


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Sthapa20/Social anxiety


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Social anxiety

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I think that your proposal to add additional signs and symptoms is relevant. Instead of saying "Although blushing is important there are..." I would just start your sentence with "Other indicators are physical symptoms which may include ....." to remove any bias attitude or judgement on the importance of blushing. I would add it in before the last sentence of the current paragraph (Individuals with social anxiety might also....) Remove the last sentence from that section and add it to the triggers section.

Next, I would consider renaming the triggers section to "triggers and behavior" and I would begin with your description of triggers. Then I would begin another paragraph with the last sentence of the previous section that your removed(Individuals with social anxiety might also....) and also add in the other behaviors that in the second addition that you proposed, however, I would change the wording to say something like "Behaviors associated with social anxiety could include x,y,z... and then list the behaviors that are currently listed plus add your second proposed addition and maybe reword it to say "some individuals avoid going out into public or situations that might direct excessive focus and attention toward them....

Great additions!katChalktalk1 (talk) 01:29, 1 March 2021 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your comment it was very helpful for me to knows where to put certain sentences I have rearrange my sentences to fit most of what you said.- Sadikshya