User:Sthapa20/Social anxiety/Csanherz Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sthapa20/ Social anxiety


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Sthapa20/Social anxiety


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Social anxiety

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I really liked how you differed social anxiety from shyness because some people interchange these terms, but it is incorrect to do so (though you might want to add a citation for that sentence).

Under the "Disorder" section, I noticed a sentence you added in the second paragraph is repeating information found in the 1st paragraph, as shown below:

"Disorder[edit]
Main article: Social anxiety disorder

Social anxiety disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia, is an anxiety disorder characterized by a significant amount of fear in one or more social situations causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others. Social anxiety disorder affects 8% of women and 6.1% of men, likely due to difference in hormones and brain chemistry. In the United States, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness. They affect 40 million adults, ages 18 and older. Anxiety can come in different forms, such as panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. It is characterized by strong feelings of worry and fear. Fortunately, it is highly treatable and not everyone needs the treatment.

Standardized rating scales can be used to screen for social anxiety disorder and measure the severity of anxiety. ''' Panic attacks can lead to panic disorders which is the fear of having a panic attack in public. Other types of disorders they can have anxiety includes social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorders(OCD) different types of phobias and post traumatic stress disorder(PTSD) .''' "

I would suggest combining the underlined sentences so the information isn't redundant. I like how detailed your sentence is, so I would move it up to the 1st paragraph.

Some of the added sentences overall are a bit awkward due to wording/omitted words, so I would suggest going back and checking grammar,

I liked your addition of a "Triggers" section, but I wonder if you could add more to it, such as categorizing triggers as situational or environmental, or something like that. Maybe there are different types of triggers that you could expand on.

I think that this sentence: "'''They could also behavioral changes such as these individuals not wanting to go out in public and avoiding the situation where they think that they’re going to be the center of attention, they may not go to certain activities because they fear of embarrassment, they make them isolated and start drinking." might need a citation as well.'''

Overall, I think your additions were good, but I would go back and check for redundancy and grammar.

'Thank you very much for your comments. I have gone through and combined the two sentences together and moved them up, I do agree it was redundant. I will be going through and adding more information about the trigger section and the last sentence I have added a citation. -Sadikshya'