User:Streetlightsoad/Alach

Alach is a deity worshiped by members of the Grafton High School Marching Band's low brass section.

Alach was discovered by the "Alachatholocists" as they call themselves, on the marching band's marching field in Cedar Lakes Park in Ripley, WV.

They believe that Alach controls the world, and its waters stretch down straight to Hell to keep the demons from surfacing. They also believe that Alach demands sacrifices, and is particularly fond of low brass instruments. They also believe that Alach follows them around and followed them from band camp, and left his imprint in the baseball field at the exact spot he was in at Cedar Lakes.

The members of "Alachatholisism" include William, Tyler, Alec, John G, John F, Kirsten and Jenna. They are constantly trying to spread the word of their god and can be heard shouting "Praise Alach" at public places. Others have been quite intolerant towards "Alachatholisism" and claim it is merely goose urine, and the "Alachatholocists" believe that Alach shall punish these heretics, and shall especially punish their archenemy Joey. The followers believe that Joey is Alach's brother who turned his back on Alach, and was cursed with untamed facial hair and a psychopathic maternal parent. They believe that Joey is the "Anti-Alach or Zlach" and wishes to drain Alach to let the demons out. Alach has another brother named Kevin, who is titan of the sky. He works with Alach to control the world, and defeat the Zlach. Alachatholocists refer to kevin as the Holy Fjord.