User:Studentbreese/Basic ecclesial community/Revengemin Button Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User: Studentbreese


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Studentbreese/Basic ecclesial community


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Basic ecclesial community

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: Not applicable, as the draft does not include one.

Content: The content is on the whole a good addition and makes use of very current scholarship. Some more information on what the CEBs did across Mexico as a whole and how they interacted with other parts of the Church and society would be good, there is a lot of detail in the draft about more local instances of CEBs but less on Mexico as a whole. The explanation of why Church officials first promoted CEBs is great.

Tone and balance: The draft is content neutral.

Sources and References: More than three sources is probably advisable, and there is at least one sentence (the one that states that "poverty was not a natural state of the world, nor was it God's will" were both common narratives) should definitely have a source linked.

Organization: There are a few grammar errors, notably "the increasing gap between the ratio of Catholic priests to parishioners characteristic of all of Latin America during the 20th century", should be either something like 'the increasingly small number of Catholic priests to parishioners' or 'the decreasing ratio of priests to parishioners'. That sentence as a whole could also be made generally shorter and smoother. Another example: "it was difficult for the communities to maintain such a high degree of organization and participation, eventually dissolving" should end with 'and they eventually dissolved'. The draft may also be a little too detailed: the full article lacks sections any more specific than the scale of nation-state, but the draft has specific places within Mexico as separate sections.