User:Stutzman702/Moka Dawkins/Nyxtingale Peer Review

General info
Stutzman702
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Stutzman702/Moka Dawkins
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

N/A

Content

Everything seems up to date in the passage given. The article does address historically disadvantaged groups, as it is a biography about a racialized trans woman, who also does work in advocacy and used to work in sex work.

Tone and Balance

The content provided is written in a mostly neutral tone. However, there are some areas that can come across as biased. For example, the sentence "Dawkins experienced life-threatening violence from Foster on the same night of his death which caused her to act in self-defense" is expressed as a fact and not as a person's claim/perspective. While this is not a problem I would have independently, I feel that Wikipedia and the Wiki-community might.

Sources and References

The sources used are pretty current and relevant for the topic, and all the links work. I would suggest that the specific chapter and/or pages are cited for the book Disarm, Defund, Dismantle, since it is pretty lengthy and thus hard to review. Moreover, Wikipedia generally recommends that sources used are not from/written by the subject of the article - however, I feel like it would not be possible to write an article on Dawkins without doing so.

Organization

This content needs to be split up into a few paragraphs/sections so that it is easier to read.

Images and Media

No image available for now.

For New Articles Only

I think that this content does meet Wikipedia's notability requirements - maybe it could use one or two more sources as more content is added. It should be restructured to follow the format of other biographical articles re: headings. It could also be helpful to link other Wikipedia articles within the content so that it is more discoverable and easily understandable (eg. a link for BIPOC, which some readers may not know what it means)!

Overall Impressions

The content here seems to adequately layout the important information about Dawkins. It may be hard, but as more words are added, try to find new/different sources to cite. I would also lookover the content for minor formatting and grammar tweaks: for example, "Criminal Justice System" and "Podcast" do not need to be capitalized. Speaking of the podcast, that would be something to name and discuss more in the article!