User:Surferr03/Constance white/Mxg2030 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Surferr03


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Surferr03/Constance_white?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * There is none

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

-I think you should capitalize the headers and maybe separate Early Years and Activism into two different sections (Family History, Early Years, Activism)

-You have some grammar issues and run on sentences (just read your page out loud a couple times and fix what doesn’t sound right)

-are there any sources that have her voice? Specifically concerning her love life and relationships

-You should go more in depth about her trip to the Soviet Union (separate section) as it is the over arching event you wrote about in your lead section. Write about her journey, the people she meets, what exactly she films or tries to film. I know you said it never got to the stage of production because of financial reasons but go more in depth (what “outside demands”)

-does she talk about her sexuality. Or maybe there are sources from the people she was in relation with

-definitely more sources

-overall I think it’s a cool Wikipedia article to focus on, I just want to know more!