User:Swanson24/Wadjet/Hippolotamus Peer Review

General info
Swanson24
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Swanson24/Wadjet
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Wadjet

Evaluate the drafted changes
·      Lead Section

o   ”Wadjet's worship originally started in the Predynastic period, but evolved from a local goddess to a patron goddess.” ''Good information to include but the sentence structure is a little clunky. Kind of sounds like the period changed vs her status. Maybe consider rephrasing a little like, “…her worship originally started in the Predynastic period where she was worshipped as a local goddess but later became/evolved into a patron goddess.” Or something to that effect.''

o   In the second paragraph maybe include what the importance of each eye is (unless this is included later in the article).

o   The sentence regarding the Greek influences doesn’t feel like it fits in the Lead section (unless it’s supposed to be its own section). It is good information but just seems oddly placed. Might do better in history. If it’s supposed to be it’s own section, it might need more information regarding the Greek influence and if they still worship Wadjet

o   Otherwise, added/changed information in the lead was very well done and organized.

·      Clarity of Article structure

o  I think the Etymology section might be better placed closer to history

o  I know you didn’t update the last paragraph of the Appearance. But I think it might be nice to include if there is any significance to why it specifies “Roman” Pharaoh., or if it was just a Roman pharaoh in Egypt at the time.

·      Coverage balance

o  Other than the Media section you said you’re still working on, I think the longer sections of History and Appearance make sense, especially with how the different forms and appearances she takes on.

o  Etymology seems like it could either be folded in with History maybe, or added to if there is additional information to be found.

·      Content Neutrality

o  Good job with maintaining neutrality

o  I liked the addition of other myths in the History section

o  “Some historians are not sure that these bronze statues are of Wadjet, but instead of the goddess Sekhmet.” ''This could use verification, which historians? Why do/don’t they think it’s Wadjet vs Sekhmet? Are there more sources that would attribute this appearance as Wadjet. If not should it be included?''

·      Sources

o  Sources seem good and everything cited well.

o  Make sure to include citations with the media section as well