User:SydneyEGrace/Astrobrachion adhaerens/PastelRoselia Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

SydneyEGrace


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:SydneyEGrace/Astrobrachion adhaerens
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Astrobrachion adhaerens

Evaluate the drafted changes
Things done well:

- Very scientific, unbiased and neutral tone is maintained

- ample information is given whenever possible

- the fun facts were pretty cool :)

- overall pretty grammatically correct, only a couple errors were found (lack of italics, lack of necessary commas, plural vs singular)

- the overall mood is nice and even--very stable without any personal pronouns etc., excellent use of passive and active voice

- this article leaves me wanting more--it is engaging and exciting to read about

Suggestions for Improvements:

- I think it would be a good idea to re-order the paragraphs you've written.

- Instead try ordering it like this


 * 1) Taxonomy
 * 2) Distribution and Habitat
 * 3) Anatomy and Morphology
 * 4) Behavior

- By rearranging the topics the reader can get a better feel for each factor in the way they would ask questions. For example; Why is it named this way? Where is it found? What does it look like? Behave like? -- it becomes more approachable.

- I feel like your missing citations--in the Introduction it would be a good idea to link previous/other Wikipedia articles to words that a non-scientific person wouldn't know, this would also benefit your article because it can remain focused on your topic rather than a rabbit hole of related topics under the same paper--this long term could confuse the reader on what your article is actually about.

- Maybe it would be a good idea to explain the plates themselves in the overall context of the body of your creature. This encourages the reader to engage with your animal and imagine it themselves

- It would be great if you could include it's natural diet and natural predators if this information is available

- When we add photos it would be great if there was a phylogenetic tree--this would help a lot in visualizing how this species is related to others.

Thanks! This was really helpful -Rea and Sydney