User:Sywarren/Women in Egypt/Aguerrero427 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sywarren


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sywarren/Women_in_Egypt?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Women in Egypt#cite ref-43

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall Impression:

I like that you are expanding on the topics of sexual violence against women. After reading through the original article on Wikipedia, I think there definitely needs to be more information on these topics. I especially like that you hope to include women's own responses to the enactment of conservative policies, and I like that you plan on gathering general public opinion data on these policies as well. I think it gives the reader more of an important perspective on how women are reacting to policies that are shaping their lives. A couple of things I would hope to see you expand a bit more on are feminism in Egypt and how that relates to the rights and struggles presently have. It would be nice to see this related to women's roles in the political and economic spheres in Egypt. One idea that came to mind was to explore these roles before and after the 2011 Egyptian revolution. I think you have solid ideas and are on the right track.

Specifics

In regard to tone, I think you successfully come across as a neutral author presenting the facts of the topic. I think this article would benefit from expanding into other dimensions of women in Egypt besides (sexual) violence against women. The additions you have already made is very well written, and I think the organization of the article is intuitive and makes sense. I would also make sure to find some citations for some of claims made in the original article!

I found this article search link from the library in case you wanted to look more into the things I mentioned above: https://search.library.berkeley.edu/permalink/01UCS_BER/s4lks2/cdi_scopus_primary_629461117. I think it may be helpful on its own and as a starting point for further research.