User:TONP/The orwellian nightmare party

User:TONP/The Orwellian Nightmare party
The Orwellian Nightmare party was first established in 2002 by the an unknown character simply known as Xaiver le Fox. Made up due to the upset he had with modern politics, he formed a secret party made to destabilise the government. Since then, even thought no uprising has yet occurred, the party have found a large and devoted following which it plans to use in the future for building a better and more fair society in the U.K.

History
Possibly the newest political party in the current U.K, The Orwellian Nightmare party feel that they are also on of the oldest, based on many of it's members being from all generations of life. Set up initially thorugh word of mouth, the party has grown and grown till it has now become a phenomonom in political history.

Policies
The party is famous for inventing "upwards politics". The new movement of politics moving vertically rather than left or right winged. This means that, though some of its ideas seem surreal, they base them firmly on fresh ideas, stemmed from both left and right wings. Here is their full manifesto

Influences and Enemies
From the obvious name, George Orwell is considered the biggest influence on the party, many members basing their veiws on his. Also of note is the fluence of James Joyce on their determination for destabilisation. Because of this almost anarchic mentallity many political parties consider them public enemny number one epspecially the majoy parties and some of the smaller but well known parties such as the BNP, UKIP and The Socialist Party.

Manifesto
''The Orwellian Nightmare party – fighting for the rights of everyone fucked over by the government since 2002.

We aim to bring solidarity; trust and freedom back to the repressed numbers of our saddened and derelict society.

As a party who represent, at the current moment, zero percent of popular opinion on most hard-hitting topics, we feel that we have very much in common with the current government and many of the leading parties.

Most of these parties argue about nothing in order to gain a simple something, whereas we argue much to gain nothing but the simple pleasure of knowing what’s right and what’s wrong.

We are neither left nor right, as this is simple one-dimensional politics. We represent a vertical way of thinking, expanding into a second new dimension of politics. Upwards. Mainstream parties may label this new way as centre but we must define ourselves strictly, so we are never to be considered centre.

We would like more Police on the streets and will genuinely get rid of all paperwork so criminals can be so rightly taught their lesson, as severe beatings are the only way. We will destroy the wings of politics and make sure that it leaves most, if not all politicians homeless and in need of a proper job. There will be no such thing as a left or a right. We shall all be one.

We shall disband all other parties, as they will not be needed. All decisions made by us will be the countries own and will not be made by a couple of old men in some house somewhere in London.

We shall also sue the BNP for being bastards and sue the Socialist party for false advertising, as they are Marxist. We shall also sue the Conservative Party for all damage done to this country since 1980, we shall sue Labour for the war, we shall sue the Liberal Democrats for having no back bone and we shall sue UKIP for stealing Kilroy Silk from ITV. As for the green party we’re not too bothered as they’re so left they’re virtually right. And as a final bid for justice, we shall sue the N.U.S for planting falsehoods into the mind of misguided students and for controlling the swaying of the UK’s students from right to left by simply playing Alphabeat at conferences again and again and again. With this money we shall build a fountain to commemorate Tony Benns left thumb and make every single member of the U.K a small cupcake with the face of Boris Johnson on for their pleasure.

The sheer indulgence and risk that these people take with our country and the grand majority of one hundred people is dangerous and should be stopped. We aim to have a voting system put in where major decisions of our country are decided by the public. We would like to ban certain types of music such as grime as it is dangerous to the elderly and know it can make chavs think, which is, as we all know, a very bad idea. We aim to tax the very rich as to give the money they’ve very unfairly earned (bar Alan Sugar) back to people such as Bin men and tramps who work harder than most city boy yuppies. We, as a party of some people, would like to take our country into a golden age or opportunity and adventure. Along with the banning of public branding, we would sever all ties with corporations and allow home grown businesses to flourish. And on Immigration, there is no such thing as immigration as our duty is to the world and not the country. All barriers will be manned but regulations will stay as normal.

So next time you’re about to vote a party into parliament that’s going to get in anyway without your vote, vote for us, The Orwellian Nightmare party and we can Guarantee that happiness will prevail. Even in Stoke.

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