User:TWILY - That's Why I Love You/sandbox

It is human nature to take either someone or something for granted. As human beings, it’s in our DNA.

When something becomes common place, the normal attitude is to either become complacent or indeed, find flaws. This is most evident in our relationships with partners, loved ones, friends and colleagues. TWILY is designed to encourage a mindset shift and create a habit of looking for the good in others, rather than focusing on negatives. Back in 2012 I decided to make a journal for my wife. Every day for a single year, I would write something positive about her and the reasons I loved her. I looked for the things that touched me, or revealed attributes or characteristics that highlighted the reasons why I fell in love with her in the first place. I gave it to her for Christmas that year and she cried and said it was the best gift she had ever received.

Here’s the kicker though…. The person most affected by this gift, was me. It is scientifically proven that when a human being expresses kindness and appreciation to another human being, it raises the serotonin levels in both people's brains. It physiologically makes us feel better. Writing something everyday made me concentrate on my wife’s positive aspects. I was consciously looking for all the things that she was doing right, and fell deeply in love with her all over again. Maybe even more than ever as now I was seeing the subtleties in her nature and behaviour, rather than her most obvious qualities which we take for granted every day.

This made me show up differently in my marriage each day and in turn, she responded differently to me. As a result of investing less than five minutes every day to document all the reasons I was grateful and why I loved her, we experienced the best year of our relationship and it has only became stronger. By looking for the positive qualities in your partner, you change your view of them, which in turn changes the way you interact with them. As a result, she made different choices about how she responded to me, with the cycle perpetuating.

We all get annoyed and have arguments. Very few couples are immune to that. But instead of living in that negative place, TWILY enables you to find positives, and that changes your mindset and all of a sudden, that squabble is forgotten.

So in 2013, believing that other people would be experiencing the same difficulties, myself and a close friend made a choice, and started to design the first TWILY journal. We both wanted to make a difference and touch peoples lives & TWILY allows us to do that on a large scale.

We believe that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Since that time, we have been privileged to surround ourselves with an amazing team who’s vision for TWILY has propelled us onto a much bigger stage.

We have all heard the saying 'Stop and smell the roses'. What does this saying mean? It implies to take time to appreciate what is going on around you. As we get older and are able to look back on our lives in hindsight, we sometimes regret not appreciating 'something or someone' as it is happening. Most of us think we are not good enough, compare ourselves to everyone around us and worst of all worry that things won't go to plan and we'll bugger things up.

To often in life we concentrate on what we need to do and where we are headed rather than appreciate where we are and who we are with now.

For a long time now I have been fascinated how appreciation impacted individuals, relationships, teams and the corporate world. I guess on a subconscious level that's how TWILY was born. I have found, and what a lot of large organisations already know, is that appreciation not only impacts relationships and how we feel about ourselves, but also productivity in the workplace.

A Professor from UC Berkeley found that when people feel valued and cared for, and received a literal pat on the back for a job well done, and that the person they reported to genuinely cared about them, they were 43% more effective and productive. It doesn't matter if you are a small business owner or you own Google, appreciating and recognising positives in your workplace will make your staff happier and your business more money, and lots of it.

So, this is what I have come to believe from my own experiences.

Embrace change. Think differently. Evolve your business. Show appreciation.

Improved relationships in your workplace will grow & expand your business, but fear of change can stop the growth regardless of the size of the organization.

Fear is one of the main factors that stop 9 out of 10 small businesses being successful in the first five years. It makes businesses stay small instead of chasing their dreams & initial vision. Funny thing is that most fears are just illusions that we create in our own mind.

When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want?

Will you be checking your in tray? Will you want to drive your beautiful car? Will you find comfort in looking over profit and loss statements? Of course not. What will matter then will be people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn't they matter most now? Make no mistake, the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.

No more excuses. Send a TWILY and be the change you want to see in your relationship.