User:Tacovilla17/Rolando Hinojosa-Smith/Escritora-2000 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Tacovilla17


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tacovilla17/Rolando_Hinojosa-Smith?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Rolando Hinojosa-Smith

Evaluate the drafted changes
- Maintain the tense of the original article. There are a few instances when the draft switches to present tense which breaks the flow of the paragraph.

- Minor grammar errors. there are instances where words are either missing or do not fit well in the context. For example, in the sentence, "Hinojosa-Smith's Spanish became proficient through Mexican immigrants, who came in exile to Mercedes after the revolution, that created "las escuelitas", or little schools " it would be best to change "came in exile to " to "went into exile in ". Also instead of "that created" the word "and" would make the sentence a bit clearer.

- Perhaps add more about what La Prensa de San Antonio published so the reader has a better idea of what Hinojosa-Smith might have been exposed to in Spanish.

- Instead of "where he would find inspiration for many of his works referencing the Korean War" shortening it to something such as "which inspired many of his works on the topic" would be better because otherwise the sentence sounds a little redundant.