User:Tadhgg/sandbox/Cúnacháin

Cúnacháin (coon-a-kawn) is a Irish man who enjoys nothing more than a good ride in a paddle boat down a meander. A man of many mysteries, Cúnacháin has many famous catchphrases, including "Meanders" "Talk to me ____" "Is Paul Meany here" "Are ye N_1" "The lockers" "Over to my good friend, _____" and many more. Cúnacháin spent his early life as Geological expert on meanders, in Sunny Days and Afternoons Pre-School. While he was in his teens, he was tipped to be the next Dolan, a legend in everything, but he never came anywhere close to being the next Dolan. This never stopped Cúnacháin from pursuing his dreams, and in 2011 he reached the semi-final in the World Nose-Licking Championships. He was beaten by Ching Chong Choo of China. Again he tried for the ultimate prize in 2013 where he was beaten again, except in the final, by Sir Ginho Cuevas of Brazil. In 2015 he finally won the WNLC, beating Kevdogg Ronayn of Uzbekistan. He is currently in training to retain his title in 2017. In 2007, he was arrested by the Cork City Po-Po. He was convicted of illegal weed, Mountain Dew, and Doritos distribution. In a trial that lasted 2 and a half years he was finally given a 7 minute sentence. After being released he vowed to turn his life around. He did just that. As soon as he arrived at his home in Tramore, Waterford/Cork he suddenly became pregnant. In 2010 he finally gave birth to his son, who should have been born the year before but Cúnacháin refused to let him leave his body. He named his already one year old son Bernard. He bought Bernard an electric toothbrush on the way home from the hospital, and legend has it he still had that toothbrush, kept safe up his ass.