User:TakeYourMarks/Black maternal mortality in the United States/Alannacronk Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
 Alanna's Notes 

(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

"An article in the American Journal of Public Health identified the effects of slavery on current maternal mortality. The authors describe that laws making enslavement an inheritable status increased the scrutiny of black women and forced them into bearing children for the economic gain of their enslavers." These sentences both need citations.

"In addition, many medical and surgical techniques were developed by exploiting the bodies of enslaved black women. An example of this is Sarah Baartman, a Hottentot woman who was paraded around in circuses, measured and then dissected after the end of her life." Both of these sentences need citations. Both of these sentences are also in passive construction.

"After enslavement, black women were still exploited as their bodies were taken advantage of for medical gain. Henrietta Lacks was a black woman who had samples taken off her cancerous cells without her knowledge" This first sentence could be clearer, in what were were they exploited? Also the second sentence needs a citation and is written awkwardly.

"They then gave some of that tissue to researcher George Gey without Lacks’ knowledge. It was found that Lacks' cells have a remarkable capability to survive and reproduce. The results and the tissue were shared with other scientists, and became an important part of biological research. For instance, they were essential in the development of the polio vaccine." All of these sentences need citation.

"This legacy has persisted into modern times and has made black women less likely to trust the medical community" What legacy? I would specify the pattern of behavior you are referencing.

"The racism experienced occurs not only on a social level, but also a systemic one, due to Black women not having access to proper sexual and reproductive healthcare. " This sentnece is just a little awkward and unclear.

"Although legal segregation ended in the 1960s, hospitals for black people are still generally lower-quality than those targeted to higher-income, white people" What do you mean by "hospitals for black people"? It sounds like you are referring to a time period after desegregation, do you mean ones in predominantly black neighborhoods?

"Income has been well studied as a social determinant of health, and it has been found that worse health outcomes at all-time points surrounding pregnancy are associated with lower socioeconomic status and income level" This sentence needs a citation.

"Lack of insurance/using Medicaid and experiencing homelessness are associated with severe morbidity rates, and are all more likely to apply to black women and increase their risk of maternal death. " There does not need to be a comma before "and."

"This is in addition to the pandemic making accessing perinatal care more challenging, and making income disparities even more stark." This sentence needs a citaiton.

"'''Anti-black racism in America is deeply rooted in colonialism and slavery. Historically, black women have been dehumanized and characterized as “savages." "''' I would just make the connection between colonialism and racism a little more clear. Not that I doubt it, I want to know what mechanism or tenant of colonialism leads to this.

"The medical field is equally affected by these subhuman, “savage” stereotypes, contributing to medical racism, such as through decreased quality of healthcare and the false perception that black women experience less pain than other women." This needs a citation. Also to say some thing is "equally" effected is probably incorrect. Racism functions very uniquely in every institution it is present in (which is all of them). So qualitatively, it's a different experience. Quantitatively, it;s really difficult to quantify "how much" racism is anywhere.

"These racist injustices and human rights violations have created deep distrust of medicine by black Americans, further exacerbated by such high black maternal mortality rates" This needs a citation.