User:TaliaSnow5/Oshawa Generals/Dr.knowit Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

TaliaSnow5


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Oshawa Generals

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi TaliaSnow5, here is my peer review of the article you are editing. I would also like to say that I agree with you that this article requires new and reliable sources for its information, and that each subheadings information should be equally distributed.

Lead

The articles lead is detailed but not too detailed. It contains relevant information to the article. However, one sentence specially caught my eye. The following sentence was not easy to read and should be rewritten to reflect an active tone: "The team is named for General Motors, an early sponsor which has its Canadian headquarters in Oshawa."

Content

Most of the content in this article contains a lot of detail however, little detail is provided regarding the Return to the Memorial Cup, Championships, and Ninth Championship. This article would benefit from information being evenly distributed, rather than having specific sections receive more attention. Another subheading that I wish I had seen in this article is a description about the statue that is outside the tribute center. I would like to know more information about this structure and when it was built.

Tone and Balance

The overall tone and balance of this article is neutral and the content does not persuade readers in favour of one position or another.

Sources and References

Much of this article does not include citations. The citations that are used however, are reliable and include information from the official Oshawa Generals webpage, the NHL, and The Star. Addition of references would improve the credibility of this article. All of the are accessible and do not include broken pages.

Organization

Much of the article is will organizations except for the section: Championships. This section is not very clear. Adding a table to insert the information might boost this sections aesthetic and make it more understandable to the average person.

Images and Media

The logo for the Oshawa General first appearing on the right side of the article page works well for the article, but the next photo that follows, the photo captioned "1990 Memorial Cup Champions Oshawa Generals," does not fit. This photo should be placed lower in the article, embedded in the section that speaks about the championships.

In the section about Bobby Orr, it would be nice to have a photo of him here. Having the photo of him will bring more attention to him and his significance on the team.