User:Tammytrinh/Asian psychology/Hannahm715 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Tammytrinh


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tammytrinh/Asian_psychology?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Within the lead section, the sentence has a run-on format and is repetitive. The beginning of the sentence starts with a definition of Asian Psychology, and ends repeating saying that definition is known as Asian Psychology. It may be better grammar to end the lead sentence after Asian-Americans as it was previously stated, defined, and characteristics were listed after the definition just past the semi-colon. The word 'and' should be removed from before the wording 'what their belief system', 'is' should be added after the word 'system' to show possession, and the next item within the list contains the transition 'as well as' making it the end of the list which means the former transition 'and' is unnecessary. In the article body, community should be communities to reflect the plural of 'people'. In the third sentence of the article body, there is a break or gap of information as it is mentioned that Asian-American's do not take advantage of mental health resources, but there is no transition or correlation made with the second portion of the sentence which mentions suicide rates. The suicide rate information also needs to be referenced within the text using a footnote or hyperlink so that someone viewing the article could have a resource to verify the information added.

The sentence in the article body that talks about Thailand's politics and religion needs a citation or source for verification, without proper citation this could be viewed as speculation or bias by other wiki users. Read through publication and be sure to check for uniformity of grammar with singular and plural forms. Double check punctuation choices with usage of semi-colons. Add in citations to the work for notability (verifiability) from references listed.

Currently, the article does not have citations imbedded to verify the references listed. References look to be primary, lacking secondary sources for information. The list of resources is lengthy enough for the section added, but requires additional information on the topic and citations (footnote, hyperlink, etc.). The article follows section headings and gives initial insight to the Asian Psychology topic but lacks in verification of the information shown. The article currently does not link to other articles, although a link to a psychology article may be useful.