User:Tamzin/Ambiguous pronoun preferences

As of this writing, MOS:GENDERID does not give any guidance as to how to refer to people who take multiple sets of personal pronouns. This is my recommended approach:


 * 1) If the subject has indicated that they prefer one set of pronouns to the others, use it.
 * 2) If they have not, assume that any list of pronouns is in order from most preferred to least. Use the first on the list, or, if it is a neopronoun, use they/them (unless she/her or he/him is stated as preferable to that). (So they/she means to use they/them pronouns, as does xe/she, but xe/she/they means to use she/her.)
 * 3) If they have explicitly stated that they have equal preference, pick she/her or he/him over they/them, just because the last is a bit less accessible to non-fluent English speakers and makes the article a bit harder to maintain.
 * 4) If that still leaves both she/her and he/him to pick from, and one seems like it would be less surprising to readers and less likely to cause edit wars, pick that.
 * 5) Else, if the article already consistently picks one or the other, stick with that.
 * 6) Else (to avoid the xkcd 221 / xkcd 545 problem) check the article's page ID by clicking "Page information". Even means she/her, odd means he/him.
 * 7) If it doesn't have a page ID that's because you're writing its first draft, in which case you get to decide, as with any other stylistic question.

Further considerations
Pronouns should always be consistent within an article, and equally-preferred pronouns should not be changed back and forth without good reason. Pronouns should also usually be consistent for the same subject across articles, with two exceptions:
 * Some people, most notably some drag queens, may prefer different pronouns in different contexts.
 * It occasionally might make sense to use different pronouns in different articles if one would be more astonishing than the other in a given context. For instance, someone who takes she/he pronouns with equal preference, and who is best-known under a feminine persona, will likely have she/her pronouns in her biography per point 4 above; but if another article mentions briefly something that person did under a masculine persona, it might make sense to use he/him pronouns for that mention.

Do not assume that the use of a particular set of pronouns in a secondary source, even a secondary source that the subject coöperated in the creation of (such as a magazine profile), necessarily reflects the subject's wishes. Sources will have their own style guides, which will not necessarily call for using the subject's most preferred set.

Unless the subject has a stated preference otherwise, in all cases of ambiguous pronoun preference, use neuter terms (e.g. server rather than waiter or waitress). Note that in some cases in English the neuter form of a gendered word may also be the masculine form (e.g. actor ); this is fine.

For real head-scratchers, don't rule out the utility of contacting the subject and asking, when such a thing is possible.