User:Tanessawiki/Dentures/EllaR1989 Peer Review

General info
Tanessawiki
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tanessawiki/Dentures?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Dentures

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: You noted that you are going to edit the lead (or first paragraph) in this section to include more common terms. I think this would be very helpful for someone who doesn't know what stomatitis is. The article says people with stomatitis are more likely ro have angular chelitis, but doesn't say anything more about what it is. That could possibly be another thing to add.

Content: I agree and its a good idea to add a prevention and treatment section. Including this goes further than just what stomatitis is but will really help the reader understand what they can do about it. I also thought the paragraph that starts with "Denture trauma" that you brought over from the original was written a little confusing. The sentences "A person should be investigated for any underlying systemic disease. Improve the fit of ill-fitting dentures to eliminate any dental trauma. Stress on the importance of good denture hygiene including cleaning of the denture, soaking the dentures in disinfectant solution and not wearing it during sleeping at night is the key to treating all types of denture stomatitis." seemed to me to be written like a list but each was a full sentence. Each of the sentences seemed blunt and didn't really move nicely from one to the next. Maybe adding some transitional words or different opening to the sentences can help with flow and understanding. (Just a little thought of another part you could edit--hope it made sense!)

Organization: Splitting up the section into different paragraphs will also be helpful for the reader. When I read the original the paragraph was very dense and somewhat hard to follow. Sectioning the paragraph up by topic I think will fix that problem.

Sources and References: Im not sure if you have gotten there yet but make sure you link the references to the sentences you are using them for. I am sure they just didn't carry over when copy and parting from the original. One question I had was where the 70% came from in the second paragraph, is it to the third reference listed at the bottom of the paragraph?

Overall, I think you are on a really good track and have good ideas on things you can work on in the article!