User:Taram21/Tomlinson Report/Yesenia23pinon Peer Review

Yesenia Pinon's Peer review
I will be reviewing User:Taram21 and her article on The Tomlinson Report. (Link : Tomlinson Report )

I see that you are improving the already existing article of the Tomlinson Report (South Africa). Great! Your lead has not yet been updated to reflect the new content added. I see that you have added the headings - Background and Findings - which provide the reader more information on the topic. Awesome! However, your lead should serve as a roadmap to the entire article. So make sure to include a brief description of the article's major sections. On the other hand, your Lead does include an introductory sentence that clearly describes your topic. As soon as I read it I understood what the article would be about. To summarize, you have a clear introductory sentence in your lead, however, you need to include a brief description of the article's major sections.

For content, what you have added is all relevant to the topic. I like the way you added the numbers for funding allocation. I think this provides the reader with the actual numbers on how much I would cost the government to invest in the reserves. The content that you have added seems up to date. All of the content that you have added sounds neutral because as the reader, I was not persuaded to favor one position over another. Great Job!

The new content you have added all seems to be backed up by reliable secondary sources. However, only one of your sources has a link. I don't know if its because of the type of source you utilized, but it would be useful to have a link to the sources so that readers can have access to the sources you utilized.

Overall, the content you have added is well written and is clear. I did not find any grammatical or spelling errors. I also believe that you content is well organized ins sections and each section has the corresponding information.

Great job Tara and good luck!

Best,

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