User:TerrenceLY/Jan Gay/Magicalmermaid Peer Review

General info
TerrenceLY, Cindycyz, Bratmitzvah, Ellefay
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:TerrenceLY/Jan Gay
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Gay

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * In the Early Career section, there could be more elaboration on this sentence: "According to Gay, 'human bodies are phenomena no more spectacular than trees.' Why does Jan Gay love nudism so much?
 * In the Research section, be more specific about why Dickinson failed to gain approval from the maternal health committee.
 * You have a lot of sentences that start with "Yet." Try fixing this.
 * In the Research section, consider adding a specific quote from the personal stories collected in the Sex Variant Study in order to make your point stronger.
 * Overall, your content is clear, concise, and well-written. All of your sources seem credible, too. Great job!!