User:Tgtg1234/Tweedsmuir South Provincial Park/Culbert3002 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

tgtg1234 and co.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tgtg1234/Tweedsmuir_South_Provincial_Park?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tweedsmuir South Provincial Park

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

No change to the lead. Definitely fine because it's not a new article but could elaborate maybe a bit more because of the increased information.

Content begins by talking about the Indigenous history of the park. Teaches us that the Nuxalk Nation were the ones to inhabit the land and never signed any treaties so it remains unceded. This section mentions how the resources have been used (in this case salmon) as a food source for a long time. It then goes on to mention the conservation efforts to preserve them which include a recovery plan made by the Nuxalk Nation. Overall informative section that includes most of the details the reader should know. Although it mentions that a plan was suggested by the Nuxalk people I am unsure if they are fully involved with the conservation and management of the park. it is also cited and neutral. Biodiversity section mentions the plant life that can be found in the park as well as a few of the more common animals. We are informed that fishing is a popular activity in the park, and later on we are told the number of people that visit the park. Good mentioning that there are no species endemic to the area but there are many endemic species of Canada that reside within the area which is good. Two species that use the area are noted to be endangered. We are told the woodland caribous numbers which give the reader a good idea of their situation. I think the last sentence about the trumpeter swan is a bit ambiguous because the fact that it is under "endangered species" but says that they have fully recovered. The ecology section ends by stating that decreased salmon numbers is bad news for the ecosystem within the area. "Tweedsmuir park is no exception" sentence is unnecessary and gives idea that the author is pro-environment which is obvious and valid but criteria is to remain neutral. Could be just " including BC and Tweedsmuir park." Overall good section that hits most of the information that needs to be covered.

I kind of wanted to know more about the endemic species of Canada that use the park instead of just mentioning them. And again if the trumpeter swan is fully recovered or not. Also more about the salmon population and if its good or not.

Good clarity I was never confused with the writing except for a few random commas.

For organization, there are two conservation sections attached to other sections. Could just give it its own section. Kind of confused what part of the "Endangered species and conservation" section has about conservation. Talks about the threats but not about conserving anything. Could rename the section "Wildlife" or something?

Tone is professional and neutral, only that one sentence I think should be tweaked a little.

Lots of sources which is great and respectable and lots are from official reports and the government so I don't think it gets much better than that. From what I can see all sentences and/or paragraphs are cited.

Information is straight to the point and provides the most important information with also some fun stuff (like formation of rainbow range). The information didn't feel over complicated and provided insight into some of the issues/history/wildlife/environment of the park without unnecessary details. All sentences/paragraphs relate to each other and follow each other naturally.

I think if there is any more information that you could get from Indigenous peoples that would be interesting. There is some already so not completely necessary.

Good stufff!