User:Tgtg1234/Tweedsmuir South Provincial Park/Rebecca.Clark126 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

The article is under the usernameTgtg1234. It is also being edited by ZoeMarielK, Natashasing987 and Dvdw3.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tgtg1234/Tweedsmuir_South_Provincial_Park?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tweedsmuir South Provincial Park

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead


 * 1) The first sentence and paragraph are good, I don't think it needs to be changed as all the information in it still encompasses the information you have added.

Citations and References


 * 1) There are no citations until the end of the third paragraph. If you are going to keep the history and lead paragraphs, you need to find sources for them. The majority of sentences don't have citations when they need them. It's ok to repeat citations and include them after every sentence or every other sentence as needed. Doing this will show where you got the information for each sentence to avoid plagiarism. Remember, over-citing is better than under-citing!
 * 2) The information about the woodland Caribou needs to be cited even if there is a reference to the BC government in it.
 * 3) The sources seemed credible for the most part except for source #11 which seems to have an issue. There are also a couple of sources that are more than 20 years old. I’m not sure if they were already included in the article or if they were added in but they may need to be revised.

Content


 * 1) Some of the information under the "First Nations and Conservation" heading, while it is interesting, doesn't seem to be related to the park. Is there Salmon in the park? Are the 3 recovery strategies being implemented in the park or throughout the entire Nuxalk territory? It would be helpful to talk about the indigenous people in the context of the park rather than in general.
 * 2) In the "Habitat and Biodiversity" section, try to find information about how large the park is instead of simply saying it's a large provincial park. The original article includes the size in hectares so if you can find a reference that supports that claim, you can use that information. You may also want to consider listing the different species that are found in the park with bullet points to make them easier to read.
 * 3) If you are going to include a section about endemic species, I would suggest listing the endemic species that are found in Canada that are also found in the park. I would assume that if they are endemic to Canada, they would also be endemic to the park.
 * 4) Under “Threats” I would suggest quantifying the information you have found. Instead of using phrases like “... have had a big impact on wildlife…” and “... significantly reduced that year's salmon population…” tell us what the impacts are and give us numbers on the reduction from year to year, otherwise, we are left to speculate on the impacts.
 * 5) In the paragraph under “Habitat and Biodiversity” that talks about fish species, you may want to include where the different species are found. (e.g Lake, ocean, river)

Organization and Formatting


 * 1) Under the “Endangered Species and Conservation” subheading, make sure that the sub-section titles are all the same. The first two titles are italicized and the third is not.
 * 2) Be aware of run-on sentences. I found a couple of sentences that were hard to follow and could be separated into 2 or 3 stand-alone sentences.
 * 3) Under the “Activities” subheading, it may be useful to list the permitted activities using bullet points. The information is understandable and complete, but it will make the section easier to read.

Tone and Balance


 * 1) The tone of the article is neutral; I didn’t feel like I was being persuaded to believe any specific perspectives. I think you did a good job of including sources from the indigenous group whose territory this park falls under and ensuring that the indigenous perspective is mentioned early on in the article.

Overall Impression

From this article, I learned about the different animal and tree species that I could expect to find if I were to visit the park, as well as some of the initiatives that have been put in place to help the endangered species in the park. I like that you included a section for recreation as most people looking to visit the park will want to know what is permitted. If there are any activities that are prohibited, it may be helpful to list what they are.

Overall I like the layout of the sections, just make sure the formatting of the headings is consistent. They have a good flow to them and I don’t feel like the article jumps around from one topic to the next. I would encourage you to include some of the information that is already included in the article as long as it has a credible source. The information already present may help expand on some of the topics you are including in the article.

The one thing I was left wanting to know more about is the ecology of the park, including population trends, how much space the different types of habitat take up, and what kinds of plants (other than trees) are found.

I enjoyed learning about the Tweedsmuir South Provincial Park!