User:ThatOnePerson25/Free Breakfast for Children/Wikifun22 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

ThatOnePerson25


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ThatOnePerson25/Free_Breakfast_for_Children?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Free Breakfast for Children

Evaluate the drafted changes
In the Chicago section, the first paragraph has good content but does not seem related to the free breakfast movement. I suggest you move that paragraph down into the Black Panther Party's Survival Programs section. By moving that paragraph it would add more relatable information to that section. Also, The first paragraph in the California section does not go along with the state of California; it only gives general information about the movement.

In this article, I think you could still add more because there are still content gaps and questions that I feel could be answered. For example, In the Washington section, I think it would be best to add more about why the Washington BPP program lasted longer than the other programs. You could also add more to the Minneapolis section, like when their program started and why they chose to add it.

Throughout the article, there are grammatical errors. Nation School Lunch Program and Congress should all be capitalized because they are professional titles. There are also commas in places that don't need them. Take out the comma after insecurity in the first paragraph. Also, add a comma after crime and before and in the first paragraph of Chicago.