User:TheCatWithASmallMu/sandbox

Kikkoman Ride-On Lawnmower 2013
On the 31st of July 2013, it was a very special day in the history books of soya sauce: Harry Potter's 33rd birthday. The next day however (July 32nd), brought light upon something even more revolutionary than Leon Battista Alberti - the first ever soya sauce powered vehicle. Yoshiyuki Takasaki's really great grandchild gave birth (not literally) to the Kikkoman Ride-On Lawnmower 2013!

Etymology
Despite rumours that the '2013' is taken from the current year, ofishal underwater spies have confirmed that it is actually 696 in base 7. This number, as well as being thrisible (divisible by 3), is a memorial to those 696 brave souls who dedicated several long hours of their life to aiding in the creation of this truly life-changing product.

Performance Statistics

 * 0 - 60 in ∞.2 seconds
 * Top speed: 6
 * Fuel consumption: 2 gallons/ furlong
 * CO2 production: -3g/ lightyear

Launch Day
Not being able to afford the flight to Japan, Kikkoman decided to launch the product somewhere in the Sahara. Approximately 28 people turned up to witness the release of the lawnmower including 26 employees, Mr Kikkoman's pet donkey and Julius Caesar. The demonstration of this amazing machine's outstanding grass-cutting ability was hindered somewhat by a lack of grass but at least standing next to the crumbling Ikea podium highlighted the Kikkoman Ride-On Lawnmower 2013 's ability to last over an hour without breaking.

Availability
The Kikkoman Ride-On Lawnmower is currently only available in Argos in Kyrgyzstan.

Safety features
The Kikkoman Ride-On Lawnmower 2013 features a number of interesting safety features as listed below:
 * 1) If the fuel tank is filled with reduced-salt soya sauce, self-destruct mode will be initiated in the hope that the explosion might rid the world of that ******[censored]**********
 * 2) An ejecting seat has been installed so that moments before impact with a brick wall, one might press the appropriate button, thus release the compressed spring and be propelled upwards, out of harm's way.
 * 3) In order to prevent the perforation of ear drums, the noisy noise emitted by the engine has been replaced by some calming classical music.
 * 4) In case driven into shark-infested waters, the Kikkoman Ride-On Lawnmower 2013 also comes with a free pair of emergency jam trousers located under the bonnet.