User:TheCrownJul/Gay–straight alliance/Aecomey Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

TheCrownJul


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:TheCrownJul/Gay%E2%80%93straight_alliance?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Gay–straight alliance

Evaluate the drafted changes
- It looks like the original article is already pretty thorough. The impact and history sections are long and include many reliable sources. The main issues are with the lead and the overall organization of the page.

- I would focus the most attention on the lead section. Specifically, the second two paragraphs seem too specific for an intro section. Is there a way you could start with a general claim about the scientific and legal aspects of GSA to help lead into those statements more smoothly?

- I would also devote attention to the organization of the article. Why does the article have 3 history sections? Is there a way you could combine them or provide more accurate headings?

- The "Terminology" section doesn't cite any sources. Is there a way you could find sources for those definitions or re-write them using a reliable source?

- I'm confused by the subheadings under "Impacts." There seems to be significant overlap between subsections. Is there a way you could combine or rename the subsections?

- The article does a good job of not stating opinions, especially in regards to the charged topic of sexual orientation rights in schools.