User:TheLazyWaffle/Rufous hummingbird/Bcradd1 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

TheLazyWaffle


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:TheLazyWaffle/Rufous_hummingbird?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Rufous hummingbird

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * The addition is informative, neutrally written, and the sources are good, but it needs just a little bit of tweaking
 * for the first sentence
 * consider rewording the first part of the first sentence for flow
 * "To meet the high demands of energy consumption that Selasphorus rufus exhibits in its high speed wingbeat, the amount of mitochondria in the pectoralis and supracoracoideus muscles exceeds capillaries in these muscles by a factor of 200 in terms of area,"
 * reword the end of the first sentence for clarity
 * "making up almost a third of the volume of these muscles."
 * also remove the dashes, put a comma
 * in the second sentence
 * change "contains" to "has" for better wording
 * in the third sentence
 * put a comma after "circumstances"
 * could use a little bit more information, possibly a second sentence on this information such as how they achieve higher levels of oxygen
 * References
 * They look fine but the links dont work, may need to nbe edited so that you can click on them to view the article instead of having to copy+paste
 * this can probably be done by removing the parethesis and period