User:TheTwoKings

The Two Kings
The Two Kings is a small acoustic duo from the little township of Howland, Ohio. Howland, the aforementioned township, isn't actually "little;" it's quite large. Anyway, the Two Kings consist of Chris LaBenne and Joe Sarko, two teenagers from Howland High School who love to perform, wirte, and (sometimes) satirize music. They're also commonly told that they're the "next best thing" to the greatest band in the world, the almighty Tenacious D.

Chris LaBenne
Chris LaBenne, the younger member of the band, plays backup guitar and sings lead vocals. LaBenne's voice is commonly referred to as "a gift from the Gods of tenacious acoustic rock." A friend of the band calls it "better than jelly doughnuts." This friend is very fat and loves jelly doughnuts. Yup, it's that good.

Joe Sarko
Joe Sarko, the older member of the band, plays lead guitar. His guitar playing is often regarded as some of the finest in the land. His style of clumsy strumming seems to occasionally "nick his pickguard," which has become a trademark of the young Sarko.

Popular Songs
The Two Kings are very very very very VERY locally popular. Their covers of Tenacious D's "Jesus Ranch" and "Wonderboy" are listened to and loved by many. The band's most popular song, "Thoughts of You," was their first recorded song and continually remains their most loved.

Bands They're Better Than By a Whole Friggin Lot
The Two Kings are commonly quoted as being better than: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Blink 182, all other emo bands (especially Taking Back Suckday), all other punk bands (especially Angels and Suckwaves), all rappers (especially D4Smell), all country artists (like Montgomery Suckry and Tim McSuck), all death metal artists (like Slayer...they suck...and Disturbed, they're pretty bad, too), and all R&B artists (especially Usher).

Discography
Jesus Ranch (2005) Black People are Black, and That's Funny (est. arrival 2006)