User:The Alaskan Gremlin/John Haines/Bayjanae Peer Review

Lead:

-keeping this sentence short and concise works well, but it could use additional clause about being in the navy, and being a homesteader. With some additional information, this lead will hit most (is not all) of the highlights in the article.

Content:

- Separating his early life and career is really effective in this article.

- In “early life” the content goes until Haines dies, so maybe that should be in a section labeled “later life?” This might be a normal for wikipedia, so its just a thought of mine.

-content looks well cited. (Does his death need two citations? Is one citation better than the other?)

-could use a citation at the end of career, but I’m assuming that is still in progress because likewise for mine.

Tone and Balance:

-some of the paragraphs can use some style editing, for example I pulled this one;

- “ There are lengthy discussions (on what? His life or career?) with John Haines in Murray's book, Abbey in America: A Philosopher's Legacy in a New Century, (University of New Mexico Press, Jun 15, 2015) where John A. Murray conducts lengthy (why are the interviews important?) interviews with John Haines, also published in The Bloomsbury Review, July–August 2004., in the essay 'The Age of Abbey,' and in the Afterword.”

-I hope that last part helps.

-I think that what you have is successful, just some information from his career and life can be adjusted to be connected together in a way that makes it flow, and seem more expansive and relevant to each other.

Sources and references:

-I like the YouTube video resource.

-you have good sources, and they are places well in the article.

Organization:

-The organization looks good, and your citations are strong.

Overall:

I’m impressed by your citations, and the amount of information that you’ve brought to the wikipedia page throughout this semester. I think you’ll definitely up the status of the John Haines wikipedia page. ~