User:The Blade of the Northern Lights/Instructions for when I kick off

Now, do not be concerned; I have no intention of dying anytime soon, or indeed anytime not so soon. But I figure I may as well write this somewhere, and why the hell not now? When the inevitable happens, hopefully in many decades, I have a particular way I want others to handle my account. Nothing too complicated, but a little different from the standard operating procedure.


 * 1)  DO NOT EDIT MY USERPAGE, NOT EVEN TO ADD A TEMPLATE OR A CATEGORY!!!!!! LEAVE IT COMPLETELY UNTOUCHED!!!!!! I intentionally leave my userpage in its raw state, with only a single edit, and I want it to look exactly as is with the edit history exactly as is.
 * 2) Add the deceased Wikipedian template atop my talkpage, make sure it says "he" and "his" as I'm most definitely a man, and if at all possible make it say "died" instead of "deceased" since I strongly prefer the former. Remove my account from all necessary categories, which are on my talkpage, and if you want to acknowledge my kicking off kindly add the relevant category there.
 * 3) Archive any discussions, I trust a reasonably experienced editor can figure out my archiving system.
 * 4) On the off-chance I'm interesting enough to write about and some family or another wants Wikipedia to acknowledge it there, put any links on my talkpage (is it clear yet that I want my userpage untouched and want all activity on my talkpage?)
 * 5) Post what you want for condolences, since none of you have had the misfortune to regularly have to deal with me and you might actually be unhappy, and please make sure to say either died/dead or something irreverent; I hate excessively polite language on this, if I'm dead I'm dead.
 * 6) And then, for fuck's sake, knock back a stiff one! Ideally a Vesper, with at least 94 proof gin and 100 proof vodka in a proper champagne coupe. Hell, have as many stiff ones as you want. Because honestly, why the hell would you want to feel bad over me when you have a perfectly good excuse to have a drink?