User:The Cheeser



THIS IS WHAT CALL EPOMEDIUS
Welcome this is the Atricle telling the story and major adventures of a cheese thief named The Chesser. It includes a short overview of my life, a few more detailed adventures, some of my friends bios and some enemies. Enjoy!!!!!

My Story (so far)
The Early Years

Well, you see, I was born in a cabbage. I was, in fact, A Cabbage Patch Kid. It was a cold, hot day. If that was possible, any way. well I was born to a litter of 5 other Cabbage patchies. There was Lettuce, Rhubarb, Carrot, POTATO,AndWillis. My name was The Cheeser because I was born a block o' cheese. It was a happy time me and my bros. One day when I was 5 I went to get some Goats from Jimmy Wang Yang, The Kindly Farmer. Later in life we began to call him Mr. Lee. He was kindly, but crazy. When I went to get the Goats He simply said, "Don't let the Exit fall from your Wok." I was on my way when Nicholas The Surfing Rabbi approached me. He slapped me and ran away. I got mad and chased after him. Little did I know that's the last day I'd see my litter mates again (except POTATO who was actually a parasite growing from my ankle with a brain)

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The Mid Years I chased that Rabbi for many years, but I didn't find him. Once, I was going through a city named Yeshtershmitenghaughtenski, Indiana. I was walking when I noticed something I never did before. People were looking at me. Looking and laughing? I also noticed, that unlike my litter mates, they were HUMAN!!!!!!!!! I ran to hide my shame!!!!I went to an old abandoned Windmill. In side I cried for another 3 years or so. Then, one day I met a wizAAAArd. His name was Endonius. I made him eat Fettuccine Alfredo. No, not that Alfredo! Not this one either. Afterwards, He gave me two wishes. The first was to be human. The second was to be a cool thief. He did and that night I went into the town and stole all the cheese from every house for vengeance on the price cheese caused on my life. All I left was a note: You Have Been Cheesed Because of this I became the Cheeser. I kept my job of stealing cheese for many years. I moved all over the world stealing cheese. One day, when I was 56 I met a face I didn't expect while stealing the great Monterey Jack.....

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The late years I was on my quest to get the Great Monterey Jack it was just after I had killed Batman. When I ran into Nicholas The Surfing Rabbi!!!!1!!!!!!!. I took out my gun and held it to his head while he tried to get his sword. "I don't think so" I said as a piano fell on him. Then a polar bear wearing a top hat named Cody led me to a room. Inside I sat on a chair and ascended to Cheese heaven where I am today.

The Epomedius Files
How shall I start? Well, it was when I turned 34 I was on a mission to steal cheese for Ferdinhad in order to get a pony. I went into the Coo' Crew's hideout to do so. I successfully did steal what I thought was a slice of cheddar cheese. When I got back to my house, I noticed that it was really a floppy disc! I put into my computer to find it brought up a screen that bore the words, "This is what call Epomedius" I noticed that the statement was missing an "I". Nothing happened for a while, so I turned it off. I took out the floppy disc to see it said, "The Fate of the world is in the of the Coo' Crew" I then decided to go back to the Coo' Crew. Inside I found it empty Walker, Phoenix and Walker musta been gone. I looked everywhere but could not find the thing. Then I thought, The "I" was missing from the program.So maybe an "I" was missing from the other statement... Or maybe an eye? Yes. I looked up and saw an eye. I used a grapple gun to get to the top and noticed that in the very center was a disk. It was in the shape of an...eye?

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Enter The Epomedius
After many, many years I decided to put the eye in my Mac. The Epomedius Files came up. An eye appeared. Suddenly, a live streaming video showed a plane. Being curious I typed Lightning. Lightning struck the plane as it Asploded. That's when I realized that this was real and we all lived in Epomedius. I couldn't give this to Fethandid. Then I remebered the worry-free life I had. I then told Ferhandid the deal was off. I returned Epomedius and the eye to the Coo' Crew. Little did I know that Ferhandid wouldn't let me off so easily.........

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Ferhandid's Revenge
Coming soon........