User:The Land/HAPPY

There are no Happiness Police on Wikipedia.
Wikipedia is a big place where bad things can happen.

Wikipedia also works on the assumption that everyone editing, regardless of their actual age, is behaving like a grown-up. ([[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis#The_Ego-State_.28or_Parent-Adult-Child.2C_PAC.29_model|See what this means to me here...).

When millions of people every day are reading your project, when there are enough adminstrators to form a battalion, and a complex array of rules and procedures have sprung up to prevent abuse, there are inevitably arguments. And much as we all know we should approach things in a state of zen-like calm, some of the arguments get very heated. Almostinevitably, policies like WP:CIVIL] and [[WP:AGF are broken in anger.

It's not the end of the world
None of these things is the end of the world. A dispute, however heated, between two wikipedians will only last as long as they are both interested; and will only exist in the places they want it to ( a talk page or two and perhaps a noticeboard or two). How much damage does incivility do? Not, in the scheme of things, very much. Most adults can deal with someone calling them names in an argument, once they have calmed down. Wikipedians don't (or shouldn't) enter every insult into their Book of Grudges.

Be very cautious about stepping in
Often a dispute can seem like two people are locked together trying to gouge each others' eyes out. Many Wikipedians - including administrators - respond to this by trying to prise the two parties apart, with variously worded warnings, threats, or even administrative actions like blocks.

These rarely work.

Remember the last time you experienced anger that you thought was entirely justified. Would someone else coming along and warning you or threatening you have calmed you down? If you're human, no - it would most likely have made you even more angry and insulted.

Being over-keen to warn people for 'civility' violations turns 2-handed arguments into flaming rows between many users.