User:The One and Only John Hancock

Hancock was born in Jackson County, Alabama. He attended the University of East Tennessee at Knoxville. He later worked on his father's farm in Alabama before beginning his study of law in Winchester, Tennessee. In 1846 he was admitted to the Alabama bar. In January 1847 he moved to Austin, Texas where he practiced law. In 1851 he was elected district judge of the Second Judicial District for a term of six years. After four years he resigned to resume his lucrative law practice, as well as to engage in farming.

At the outbreak of the Civil War, Hancock strongly believed that Texas should remain part of the Union. In 1860 he was elected to the Texas House of Representatives as a Unionist. After the secession of Texas in March 1861, he refused to take the oath of allegiance to the Confederate States of America and was expelled from the legislature. During the Civil War he practiced law in the state courts but refused to conduct business or recognize the authority in the Confederate courts. He refused to take part in military service during the war, and in 1864 he fled to Mexico to escape conscription for the Confederacy. After the end of the war he returned to Texas and took part in the restoration of order, including serving as a delegate to the state constitutional convention in 1866.

In 1870 he was elected to the United States Congress and served from 1871 to 1877. He served again from 1883 to 1885. He supported the Native American policy of the Ulysses S. Grant, which called for placing Native Americans on reservations under supervision of the federal government. While in Congress he helped in the passage of acts related to Native American policy. These acts included changing the manner of issuing rations to Native Americans on the reservations, stipulating that they were to be given once a week, as well as prohibiting Native American hunting-parties unless accompanied by United States Army troops. This latter policy ended raids by Native Americans from the reservations. He also helped establish a military telegraph around the Texas frontier.

He died in Austin in 1893 and is buried in Oakwood Cemetery.

He then rose again in 1993 as a rude hateful homophobe with extremely bad breath, who has no respect for women or black people, and an affinity for aerodynamics (especially Northwest) and the Jonas Brothers. He has currently been to 4 Jonas Brothers concerts, and has personally met all 4 of the brothers, Joe, Kevin, Niklaus, and Sinterclaus. He occasionally frequents the Gay Rights Festival and in Pride '08, he presented a speech saluting Harvey Milk. His heroes are Barack Hussein Obama, Joseph Stalin, Richard Simmons, and Billy Ray Cyrus. He is a fervent liberal, and is looking for a woman with very few morals who he can have a deeply intellectual political conversation with while in bed. His dream is to one day be a Gospel/R&B/Rap/Spiritual/Carols/Tribal/Soul/Bluegrass/Hip-Hop/Bayou/Jazz/black musician, and follow in the footsteps of his father, Seal. In his early years as a resurectee, he consumed only fried chicken and waffles for 8 years. This resulted in a horrible disfiguration of his right foot and his nipples. In the present day, his favorite snack is a frozen stick of margarine which he enjoys with a tall glass of his "special" - soy sauce/urine mixture. He is greatly influenced by the short story, The Fox in the Socks, and has been trying to find the deeper meaning of Seuss' words in this classic tale. He once had a very intimate relationship with Terri Schiavo, he was the reason she was put into a vegetary state. He enjoys his nightly fantasy in which he pictures himself flying a Northwest airliner in the nude.