User:The incredible foot/sandbox

 DOES IT WORK TO READ LIKE THIS?  THIS MΦMENT TNEMΦM SIHT I made a mistake—that's life—I have to accept it. Life is constant failure. The fundamental flaw in human reason is that I know the difference between good and evil, so it pains me to recognize when I'm wrong. My mind jumps from the thought like a hand from a hot stove.I deny responsibility. I renounce my autonomy. I follow the Accuser, looking for someone to blame. I reject the world and existence itself becomes painful to me. My body burns and I gnash my teeth in my sleep. I have to accept my guilt--accept the burden of autonomy. my pride - the waters wash away the past ...baptism...forgiveness -- Love

We need a system where power is evenly distributed,

There was a park near our house that was this big mansion that a rich man donated to the town I preferred math. fantasizing about being loved.

I doubt everything. Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am." Is that not very obviously circular logic? "I(who??) think(what the hell does that mean?), therefore(oh rly?) I(this guy again) am(AM???).

above all, the ability to communicate. A website that facilitates understanding.

feel your heart. stop forgetting that. feeling is necessary to thought. without feeling, thought has no grounding.

my memory is written by my emotions. my self is a collection of experiences. lessons learned. I need a community. I don't want to live in thrall to the powerful (the shameless, the ruthless, and their heirs). I want to serve the collective good (God). I can help my fellow man, but help them do what? What are we here for? it seems like we're supposed to put two things together. We're supposed to keep experimenting.

The perfect way to feel is exactly whatever way I feel at this moment.

Here's my problem, I need to do what I love

Every person needs meaningful labor to perform. There is no meaningful labor in a consumer economy. People try to fill the void of meaning with consumption. It never works because that isn't what they really want. It can only distract from the pain for a little while.

I want to build something with other people.

sex with a prostitute is anti-sex. it's the fetishization of power.

Trump signed an executive order banning his appointees from working as lobbyists after they leave the administration. he revoked the ban on his last day in office.

of course Walter loves his family and wants to provide for them, but —more than that—he wants to be seen providing for them. he has his reward.

fear is always fear of an idea. a phantom. how could death be frightening? I'm afraid of dying without making a contribution. I have made a contribution already in the way I care for my loved ones.

The first municipality named Forshaga was a market

I have a problem. I obsessively worry about doing the wrong thing. I obsessively avoid action. I tell myself I'm thinking but what am I really doing? What am I actually, physically doing? Hiding in my room. Hiding from people. And all my thoughts are a rationalization of that impulse. OK but hold on. OK so this is how I spent my life. It is what it is. How can I make the best of it? I can share what I've learned. I'm not a smart guy. I'm not well-educated. I don't usually have the patience to read. I always feel I should be doing something. I should be proving my worth. But I feel worthless. So I'm never ready. I have low confidence, due to childhood. It doesn't matter. The question is, what's the right thing to do? I realized my problem is that I'm selfish. Self-seeking. Self-obsessed. I'm always worrying about myself. What will they think of me? How will they judge me?

G(love for his family)D

All I can do is convince them to talk to each other. Life isn't linear, the story goes back and forth.

what am I chasing? profit? personal gain? relief from pain? for that, all i really need is a distraction. i only need enough money for a painkiller. a shadow on the wall. ——what can i gain? what am i lacking?

the consumer economy must promote consumption. people consume when they're hungry. we can never be filled. the economy wouldn't survive it. we have to starve forever. starve while we die from overeating.

in order to be self-less, i have to stop desiring. the only way to stop desiring is to stop giving in to my desires. I consume without thinking. I have to stay present. I should fast.

love is the supreme good. love is the one true god. love is when the two become one. think about what they need, not what i want them to believe. think about how to help them. understand them.

the facilitation of communication is the highest purpose of technology.

the pain is guilt. my body burns and i gnash my teeth in my sleep. i need to atone. i need to learn my lesson.

that only covers the problem up. putting it off for another time. the only thing you can do with pain is accept it. everything else is procrastination. my body is trying to tell me something. I should be in pain right now. I still haven't learned the lesson. There's a fundamental pain i have. deep down. I want to do good work. I want to make a positive contribution. It's the one thing i can't find in a consumer economy. the only way to do good is by acting with love in your heart. if I work for myself, I will never be happy. how do i keep myself from forgetting that? just love everything. that's all i have to do. there's one God and Shem is love. the energy that joins two into one. but why don't i ever seem able to do that? i don't know what to do. i don't know how to help. i would like to say something but I don't know how to speak. i feel inadequate. i also have delusions of Grandeur. i have pride. how do you beat it? don't be weak. don't need. what do i need? all i need is food, water and shelter. everything else is a luxury.

caffeine is a chemical substitute for purpose. a cattle prod to jolt you into motion. I need it because I still don't know what I'm doing.

the united states is an arms treaty and a trade deal. mutually-assured-destruction

I don't listen. I built up a wall. If you open yourself up to someone, they can stick you right in your heart.

Love every thought and every feeling. Embrace it. Don't be afraid. What do I need? Nothing. How can I help? I don't know how to talk to people. I want to make a statement of intention. I'm going to love everything. it's easy. I'm not scared at all.

OK first there's a void. then a man appears. he's lonely. he searches for a partner. he finds her. they fall in love.

Pain is the price of freedom

You hate them because they hate you and they hate you because you hate them. You can't defeat hatred by giving in to it. My hatred fuels my enemy because my enemy is hatred. Was Jesus really one man? Was Homer? I mean Homer Simpson. He's the everyman. He's the Spirit within all of us.

confession I made a mistake—that's life—I have to accept it. Life is constant failure. The fundamental flaw in human reason is that I know the difference between good and evil, so it pains me to accept when I'm wrong. My mind jumps from the thought as a hand jumps from a hot stove. I deny responsibility, renounce my autonomy. I become the accuser, looking for someone else to blame. I reject the world and existence itself becomes painful to me. My body burns and I gnash my teeth in my sleep. The only way out is through. I have to turn toward my pain. My pain is information. My pain contains a truth. I am afraid. I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing. I don't want to hurt anyone, but —more than that— I'm afraid of being judged. Afraid they'll judge me the way He did. My brain created a virtual copy of him to anticipate his attacks. That voice is my self-awareness. My executive function is screaming at me and telling me I'm worthless. It's not helpful. But the message actually is helpful. I do want to be aware of how my actions affect other people. I do want to do the right thing. the tone of the voice is not the problem — the problem is that I'm afraid of it. My problem is always the thing I can control. Fear of pain. Why should I fear it? What can pain do to me? Force me to be aware? Why am I so afraid of that? What if I was going to die ten seconds from now, what would I do? There would be nothing to do but listen. If I was with someone I loved, I would tell them I love them. Is that what death feels like? Pure acceptance? Pure Love? So what am I afraid of? What's fear? Fear is attachment to a fantasy. Fear is rejection of this moment — turning away from the truth.

describe, don't analyze, understand

all you can do is accept your pain, wave by wave

Every lie is on the spectrum of manipulation--subverting another's autonomy.

What is the God of the Book of Moses, functionally? Is He just a shadow on the wall thrown by the man behind a curtain? He is that, but the shadow becomes the center of something real. God is the focal point of their community. God is the thing they all rally around. God is the community. A community is not just physical proximity, it's a relationship between people. God is love for your neighbor. You should have no other god before that one. Every other god ultimately leads to misery.

"every woman is beautiful" turned into "she got plastic surgery for herself." A rationalization isn't helpful. Healthy women are beautiful. A woman who tries to turn herself into the market-determined definition of a beautiful woman, will never be healthy. The market has to convince you there's a problem, so it can sell you a solution. And why is your diet unhealthy? Could it be the incessant advertising? Could it be the food that's specifically designed, not to be healthy, but to be addictive? This is the world the market has built for us. We poison ourselves for profit.

Video games were the thing that covered up my pain. Everyone's drug is the thing that covers up their pain.

It feels like the end times are coming because the fundamentally faulty logic of greed at the heart of the system is becoming obvious to everyone. We're all seeing at the same time, the emperor has no clothes. But the Empire feeds us and keeps us warm. What's going to replace it?

There's something I need to say. My memory is never right. I've barely been paying to attention. I've been fed a particular angle on the world.

clearly the beast is Empire -- this pleasure filling murder machine we're all pulling the levers on together. who can defeat it? it is Power. it can make fire rain down from the sky. but Empire is the collective representation of personal power -- the fire that Prometheus brought down from heaven -- the ability to reason, the knowledge of the difference between right and wrong. I'm guilty of every crime my country has committed in my name. i still pull that lever. the beast is summoned by the devil on my shoulder. how do I stop pulling it?

Her dad was a smuggler in the Soviet Union. He was a slimy, self-seeking creep, like Putin. That was the kind of guy that rose to the top in that society. At least that's how it looks from my perspective. Stalin was a particular type of guy and everyone after him has been pretending they're Stalin. None of them has the genuine confidence of Stalin. Stalin actually believed he was God, the rest of them have been clearly aware of their inadequacy.

awareness and action feeling and thought now and then feminine and masculine Action without awareness is aimless. Awareness gives me power and I get over-excited and I stop being aware. You have to be patient. Realize where your power comes from. It comes from being in touch with the world.

it love i——forth and back going youre because up fucked is backwards reading

to hit himself he hit me

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