User:Thefrog66

Helen Bate

Helen Bate lives in coombe (yeah no one has ever heard of it) it is believed to be a magical place similar to Narnia, where loads of famous people (and Helen) live. Helen's most famous acheivement and what she is most famous for is sailing around the world in a Pedaaaalo surviving on nothing but Goujons. The peddaaalo known as the HMS POOPA only managed to leave the English Channel before a segull attracted by Helen's natural fishy odour landed on the boat and this little extra weight was too much for the pathetic ship and it sunk. Helen was forced to swim back and set sail on the HMS POOPA MarkII.

RETURN

On Helens return 18 years later she realised that coombe had been taken over by an evil malicious bloodthirsty Ice Goblin (Named Eric) who had turned all the Rich famous people of the town into Ice. Helen with the aid of a half-man half-goat named Tumnus managed to defeat the Goblin's army and was about to kill the Ice Goblin when she discovered he was a rugby player. Hearing this she spared his life and married him and ruled coombe together. Tumnus enraged with jealousy killed Eric and made helen his love slave.

If you ever want to see Helen in chains and laugh at her with all her half-human half goat children then you have to drive along the longest bloody road in the world and then knock on a tree three times to enter the magical world of Coombe.