User:Thekevanator/Jeshua Anderson/Lmc99 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Thekevantor's article about Jeshua Anderson


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Thekevanator/sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Jeshua Anderson

Evaluate the drafted changes
Here is my feedback on your article so far!

Content
You seem to be missing a lead section, though I'm sure you know that! Either way, his birthday, his little blurb about some personal history, and what events he specializes in are good things to consider! The original article, I think, does a pretty good job with the lead section--maybe you could use that as a guide?

I do like your addition of the picture, and I also like that you've split the contents up a little more, as well as added a section about his personal history.

I think if you can find any sources for that first paragraph under "Personal" that would be good! Additionally, maybe consider changing it to Personal life? Or Background and personal life? just to make it a little more descriptive !

Writing mechanics
I would say the majority of my feedback is in how things are formatted. The content and background info you've added is great; however, the way that you've chosen to lay it out is a little confusing. I would consider adding the year to each heading, or changing the heading to the year that you're reporting on and make a note in the body about what standing in school he was. I'm also not entirely sure that you need the colon at the end of each heading. I think the original article does a pretty good job on this front.

Any sources that you can find about him winning or breaking records would also be a really good addition, I think!

Otherwise, nice work so far!