User:Thenewyorkjets

Nick Eckstein (pronounced ech-STEEN) is a student at Christian Brothers Academy in Lincroft, New Jersey. He has a fetish for robot granny porn. Contrary to popular belief, he IS Jewish, as demonstrated by his last name. According to a myth, his ears can be seen from space and have auditory range of about 5 continents; this myth is probably true.

Personal Life
Eckstein is currently in an open relationship with his mother, after he was turned down by Nick Jonas of Jonas Bros. fame, as well as Mike Rossi.

Sexual Endeavors
As of now, none that involve a female HUMAN, on account of Eckstein's dog is a female.Rumor has it he does well in some classes because of his unorthodox "extra credit" work.

THE 45
Eckstein notoriously received a 45 on a chemistry test in the 2007-08 school year. This feat is unprecedented, and has only been rivaled by the continued efforts of Dan Papaleo. Buckets were needed to clean up the tears Eckstein shed after this incident.He still cannott discuss the grade without becoming "extremely hurt and emotionally vulnerable" to this day.

Awards
In a recent survey of the entire state of New Jersey, Eckstein received the award for "Worst Borat Voice." In a related incident he was also unanimously voted the "most obnoxious kid in the state" and "most likely to be shot because he is so damn annoying." The National Ear Society gave Eckstein their annual lifetime achivement award, the Ears for the Years. Eckstein received the Congressional Medal of Honor for saving the entire crew of a Navy ship by letting them use his ears as a flotation device. He volunteers for the Tinton Falls Police, working as a phone tracer;no audio equiptment is required.

Quotes
Eckstein always thinks before speaking, this leads to many intelligent remarks: "The IRA is not a terrorist organization." "Hey chief!"

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