User:Thephotoplayer/funny

'From Variety June 17, 1953:'

A Universal salesman in the south submitted the following report on his experience with a female theatre operator:

''I sold this account seven pictures. Secured terms in line with previous sales. I have called her four times and because exhibitor criticized our product and would not accept the terms presented, I walked.''

''Exhibitor refuses to play MISSISSIPPI GAMBLER because of the title. Refuses to play Woody Woodpecker because humor is over children's heads. Refuses to play LAWLESS BREED because it glorifies outlaws. Refuses IT GROWS ON TREES because it is a fantasy. refuses BECAUSE OF YOU because it is too sad. Refuses ALI BABA because of costumes. Refuses BLACK CASTLE because of English accent. Refuses AGAINST ALL FLAGS because "sea pictures don't go in her town." Refuses REDHEAD because a magazine called it a drama. Refuses to play "Kettle" pictures because of terms. Refuses SEMINOLE because previously played DISTANT DRUMS and noticed that Indian players were Italians dressed up like Indians. Refuses GUN SMOKE because all of Audie Murphy's pictures are alike and her people will not attend since they already know what the story is about. Refuses DESERT LEGION because Ted Richmond is a producer. He produced BRONCO BUSTER, which to her is a "straw hat western." She said costuming was not authentic. Cowboys wore straw hats.''

''Exhibitor has the Crosley appliance franchise. Has refrigerators and deep-freeze units displayed all over theater. Has television set displayed on stage. Does not use trailers, her husband interrupts the show from stage to announce coming attractions. Exhbitor can not understand why business is so poor.''

''No amount of explanation of our product would change her attitude. She treats all companies the same way. Theater is in pitiful state of disarray. I'm not sure what approach and manner of selling to use with this account.''