User:Thespongeboy/Second Intermediate Period of Egypt/Lellenkarsen Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Overall, I think you have made some great edits to the article. I like that you added the dates and dynasties into the lead. It opens the reader up to the main topics in the article: Hyksos and the dynasties.

Clarity of Structure

The structure is great. Chronological and easy to follow, with background on the Middle Kingdom.

Coverage Balance

I am glad that you added the 13th and 14th dynasties into the article. The dynasty sections prior to your edit were a little short compared to the importance of them, but your edits look like they will fix that. The only thing I was curious about was the small section of the 16th dynasty discussing famine. Could you either move it into a paragraph so that it does not stand on its own?

Content Neutrality

The article reads very neutral. I like that it shares multiple perspectives, not just a single understanding of the period. This is visible in the 14th dynasty section when discussing interpretations.

Sources

The sources feel a little repetitive. Is there anywhere besides ancientegypt.org that offers the same information?

All together, great work.