User:Theultimatetruth

"TeamAwesome"
Defined as the absolute epitome of awesome. They have hailed with their title and rank as "The Most Supreme Awesomenator" since being mentioned twice in the dead sea scrolls, circa a long time ago. Rumor has it that Elijah and Moses both were a part of this secret society but the claims have not been verified. . . yet. The "Make a Wish" foundation was setup to discover past members but has been "conveniently" sidetracked in its process.

Entrance into this group has been Shrouded by Mystery since its inception.

-Some account that there is a random natural selection, such as picking the giraffes with the long necks instead the short neckers.

-Others just say that all other teams suck, therefore TeamAwesome reigns supreme with a mighty trumpet and sceptre.

-A third belief agrees that black holes exist and are filled with liquid awesome and Twizzlers, therefore awesome is drawn to awesome creating a vortex that awesome people cant avoid and are drawn together by science. Cant deny science. Right Tom Cruise?

Other rumored TeamAwesome members

Kenyans - Seriously, real people can't run that fast or for that long. Either you have to be in an uber-awesome group or drink an mega-awesome energy drink. Too bad no such drink exist. . . . yet. Sorry gatorade, you are for pro athletes that sweat different primary colors and for college students on Saturday mornings. Red Bull was a close second even though its weird "give u wings" commercials give Michael Jackson nightmares.

Henry the VIII - He must be part of the group, considering he made such a great song that it can go on to infinity and rightfully should. Not like that crap Shari Lewis used to close her "Lambchop" show with but a song so indescribable Patrick Swayze had to sing it in "Ghost". First of all, Freakin' Swayze sang it!! PSwayze just ripped into it and couldnt stop. He couldnt help it! Even as a ghost he couldnt resist the catchy tune, it was irresistible even in the afterlife. In all honesty, making a song of that caliber is as probable as a hermit crab learning to fly a F22 raptor and dropping a nuke on Osama from near orbital heights!!! Practically Henry can divide by zero and not even wrinkle a nose hair.

Yes, the song was not written by the British monarch but by a peasant named Henry, which proves Monarchy is gay. Very, very gay.

Rocket Von Brewhausen - A name collectively assembled to pay tribute to the man who created the first beer. His true name was never known but this name is what was written on all of his invitations to BYOB functions. Jager Sledge Meister was said to be his best friend and member in training until everyone got sick of him after their college years and told him to go "shot himself" (difficult german translation).

Eddie Vedder - nuff said

Meetings

Rumored to be held inside of Chuck Norris' beard. It is a proven fact that the beard is impenetrable because each hair is made up of tiny fists.

Origin of Facts

The mere mention of the origin would create a time rift much worse than any Stephen King or Dean Koontz book.

Suspicion

If this article is under review or deleted, it is only because "THE MAN" is trying to stop this group from reforming and furthermore taking over the known world.