User:ThomasWheeler94/sandbox

About Me - Humour-Centric

My name is Thomas Wheeler. Middle name is David. Confirmation name is Luke - as far as Catholics (my faith) are concerned, I chose it as Luke was the writer of the 'children's bible', but I decided on it when I was around five years old as I loved/love Star Wars and noticed the shared name of "Luke" (Skywalker). Nicknames over the years have mostly been related to my ginger hair, acne, nerdism, or feck-knows what else, I've been losing my mind recently. However, in the last two, maybe three, years, I've had a series of nicknames, such as Qui-Tom (in reference to Qui-Gon Jinn, my favourite Star Wars character), PaddingTom Bear (after dressing up as a bear for the local (Llanrumney) library young-readers club, a few weeks after completing my Y10 work experience there), and Tomsillitis (as you just have to change the one letter, hopefully not because I caused a suicidal-causing pain in their mouth) – all from the same person – and 'Hiccup', which was created as my superhero alter-ego, after watching Kick-Ass, while hiccuping, with Aron (a.k.a. Aron Man).

Born in Cardiff, Wales (UK), always lived in Cardiff. Almost all holidays have taken place around Wales, one or two in England, once in Scotland (Edinburgh, 2002 royal tattoo, but I was more interested in the Star Wars exhibition at the museum). Twice, maybe three times, to Paris, as one of my aunts lives there. However, not a big fan of leaving the comforts of Cardiff, let alone my bedroom! I do actually “have a bad feeling about this” whenever I'm in public.

Sixteen years old, born on Star Wars day - May the fourth be with you. Currently studying AS Politics, Film Studies, Media Studies, and English Literature and Language in my first year at St. David's Catholic College. Since around the age of seven or eight, I've wanted to be a fictional writer, probably sci-fi or spy action/thrillers, although I would need a day job so I'm currently looking at journalism. I would, however, like to fulfil a sort-of dream of mine to be able to write for a high-profile game, something like Dragon Age (or any other Bioware game), or a Star Wars game (and/or book) - I'd so love to meet, let alone work with, Hayden Blackman and Drew Karpyshyn.

In May or June of 2009, I entered a Facebook competition, the first, for what was then the new Comedy Central UK page. The competition entry was posting a comment simply saying why you should win. I posted, “I'm 15, ginger, and single”. I won the competition. A year later, the only difference is that I'm 16.

Star Wars, since first seeing The Phantom Menace in the cinema (also my first 'live action' film), has always been my favourite thing, closely followed by Dragon Ball Z, Scrubs, Frasier, and Firefly, over the years. Star Wars was always my favourite film, and certainly overall thing, and Firefly was my favourite TV show since watching it around 2005 or 2006, shortly after the Serenity film was released on DVD. However, after seeing Little Miss Sunshine in 2007, I fell in love with the film, and it is now my favourite movie alongside the Star Wars films (favourites are IV and III, by the way), and then, in April 2008, I watched the pilot episode of Chuck. Chuck is about a good-natured, late-20s nerd, called Chuck, who gets all the government secrets uploaded/downloaded into his head, and so is forced into becoming a spy. With its mixture of comedy, action, awesome soundtracks every episode, and, most importantly, heart, that has kept the show going from the first episode to the episodes currently airing on NBC on Mondays, Chuck instantly took the favourite TV show from Firefly (which is still second), and even took the overall love from Star Wars... Nowadays, it'll be hard for me to talk to you for more than two minutes before Chuck is mentioned – I'm (semi) sorry, really, but it just really is hard for me not to talk about the thing that makes my life so wonderful.

Anyway... I don't watch any sort of reality TV, and, as such, I've despised the college when we've used things like Susan Boyle's “debut” on X Factor as lessons for pre-judging people... I could understand using it, but that was it – we didn't have any discussions on the subject matter or anything of the sort, just the video and that was it. I could've made up a better lesson plan than that...

Anyway, again! As previously stated, I'm single. Always have been, probably always will be. I have had crushes, for sure, but being a nerdy (very), ginger (very), kid, I didn't really have that much confidence as a “youngster”, added to the fact that I didn't really know what I was signing up for, and so I'd like to see the terms and conditions before I 'committed' myself to anyone. Growing older, more nerdy, and certainly more ginger appearing, along with teenager anxieties such as acne and, at least in my case (mostly because of the three previous issues of 'nerdism', ginger hair, and acne), some bullying (not that it has ever bothered me), confidence still wasn't receiving that big a boast, though I was/am certainly more than comfortable in my own skin, and so, along with the relationships I'd seen of friends and families over the years, I stayed away from any 'romance' for my high school years... However, people seem to find it strange that I don't have much of an interest in getting a girlfriend, so some have said that it will be our 'joint' mission to get me someone in college (feck that – they haven't even shown up since 'offering' their 'services'), and the others (the vast majority), assuming and then asking if I was actually gay.... I'm not. However, after the two-dozenth (definitely an understatement, by a lot) time of being asked this, I thought, “feck this!”, and 'admitted' my homosexuality, which played in well with my sense of humour that I'll come to later.

As such, around most people, I lead a double-life, almost superhero-like, where I pretend to be gay. I'm currently dating a fellow boy from my Llanrumney neighbourhood, called, “Tim Jones”, who I made up on the spot, named after the composer of Chuck, who I knew nobody would recognise (I'm sorry, Tim, but my friends and other students/people I know, are ignorant when it comes to composers, and Chuck – know that you're doing me a great service). To be honest, I've been thinking about me and Tim, and after almost eight weeks now of knowing him, I think it's time one of us tried to advance our relationship from merely 'making out' and grabbing his tight, wholesome, arse. I've been a 'closet' for about three years, and 'came out' around six months ago, much to the displeasure of my best friend (at the time), Aron, who I'd had a crush on, only telling him when I actually 'came out'. As such, there was quite a fair bit of tension during those first couple of months, and we drew apart, and though Aron has started to get past it, we've never been quite as close since, hence why we don't hang around together as much (actual reason is just because of our different time-tables and the fact that I don't like the cafeteria, where he usually hangs out).

It was actually quite extraordinary(ly scary) how easy it was to convince the ten or so people around me that I was actually gay, though I think my partly-undiscovered (I lie quite well under pressure, I've found) ability to improvise is something I should look into further developing... Oh, and my parents know about my sexual preference too.

Right, to my humour... Grew up watching a range of comedy, from straight-forward stand-up to shows and films like Have I Got News for You, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, QI, Frasier, Scrubs, The Office, Extras, Mel Brooks films, There's Something About Mary, Airplane!, Naked Gun, Top Secret!, Hot Shots!, Not Going Out, Black Books, Big Train, Armstrong and Miller, Alan Partridge, That Mitchell and Webb Look, Psychoville, League of Gentlemen, Spaced, Curb Your Enthusiasm, South Park, Lead Balloon, Saxondale, Jonathan Creek, and so many, many, more that I'm ashamed I haven't mentioned them. Never been that big a fan of slapstick, never really seen that much of an appeal in Gavin and Stacey, and I must've been severely mentally ill when I was into Little Britain. Anyway, so, over the years, I've been able to access a variety of different genres of comedy, and, I'd say, my favourite, being a typical 'British', would probably be the darker humoured, misanthropic, shock-tactic/controversial, innuendo-ridden, comedy, along with a great deal of wordplay... I used to be very sarcastic, up to my mid years of high school (around 2007 and 2008), but that's slowly making a return, and it can be hard to create new wordplays and 'shockers', but I give them both a good try. However, we're still trying to work out if I was fecked as a baby or something (I find the whole 'dropped as a baby' to be bit overused and boring), but I've always had a very sick-minded, well, mind, and so confidence is never really much of an issue when it comes to the more controversial issues, the 'out of the box' illegal, though usually very logical, activities, sexual innuendos, or 'stroking' people if they accuse me of being gay... I know they'll back out sooner than I will. Also, I think part of comedy is that there should never be a “too soon”, so, almost all the time, there isn't.

For one of my GCSE English coursework pieces, a paired task of acting out a scene, either from something already in existence (TV, film, play, news), or something you've written yourself. Instantly, though with a large smile on my face to show that I wasn't serious, I asked our teacher if we could act out (or write/adapt, if we felt it necessary) a porn scene. The answer was “no”, and she then told the class that there shouldn't be anything too violent, too harsh swearing, or rude, and that she wanted to check everyone's scenes before we performed. Either way, I went home that weekend and spent it writing the first few minutes, the 'foreplay', to a porno. It ended where the actual sexual acts of the porno would usually start, but this foreplay, about a head-teacher interviewing a possible Media Studies teacher, and was full of innuendos, wordplay, and feck-loads else. I persuaded Aron to actually star in it with me (he was the head-teacher, the 'innocent' of the foreplay), and so we were ready to perform when the day arrived, even adding two extra parts, though small, for two friends that had been very supportive of the scene. Somehow, for some unknown reason, we were one of the few pairs that didn't have their work actually checked before we went up. Even more amazingly, we had both learnt our lines very well, despite us both being nervous public speakers, and so usually quite shit at remembering lines for what could be such an 'important' act. We started, and all seemed innocent enough, but then we started talking.... After the performance, and cheers from the class full of boys (we and the girls were separated for our GCSE English classes), our teacher told us that we did well, despite the nature of the play, that she was afraid that the deputy-head (known for being very strict and scary, along with the head-teacher), whose office was directly opposite our classroom, would hear either Aron and I, or the laughing and cheering, and come to investigate, and that, she said the only reason she didn't stop us after pretty much every line we said was because she hoped it would become less, well... porn-like. In the end, Aron received an A for his performance, and, since I also wrote it (I wrote the majority of it, Aron made a few smaller edits and suggestions), I received an A*. Definitely my highest graded, and quite possibly Aron's too. Due to the 'whispers' that had travelled all around the school, partly due to my own talks with friends and teachers, and partly to do with the boys of the class spreading the word, I decided that a second performance was necessary, in order to share it with the interested teachers and the other students, like my female friends from the other English classes, that wanted to see it. Somehow, I'm really not sure how I pulled it off, I managed to persuade/beg Aron to return to perform it, and so we had a second showing in Mrs. Hill's, probably the most popular and 'student-friendly' teacher in the school, a Welsh teacher, to a classroom full primarily of teachers (I personally invited them), and students in our year (unsuitable for those below, our Religious Studies teacher, also my tutor teacher, decided), while making sure that the one or two posters I put up around the college were undiscovered by the head or deputy-head. The second performance wasn't as well-performed, I think we can both admit, and though we did film it, I haven't seen the film since, so I don't know if progress is still going on with that...

Quite an easy-going person, if I may say so myself, and I enjoy holding the door open for pretty much anyone in my view, when around college or out in town (usually once every 4-6 weeks), much to the annoyance of my friends. I've recently 'discovered' (as in, “not sure if it's true, but it would make sense), that it was watching Due South around 2006/2007 that really brought that door-holding out in me... Although I also recognise the fact that I have nothing better to do, I'm hardly ever in a rush to get anywhere, and so I figure I might as well stand around and make someone else's life that tiny bit easier, even if just for a few seconds. One problem I do have is when I hold the door open, and they use the other door (or when a group of people refuse to use the other door), or when they then 'decide' that the door I'm holding is wide enough for them, and so they decide to push the door more, making me feel pretty useless, despite the fact that the door is always as far as it can go and they can actually fit through the door.

Hopefully, that's enough for now... I think we've got a good, general, idea of who I am, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thanks if you did.

All the best, Thomas.

p.s. Links and accounts you might be interested in... www.thomaswheeler94.tumblr.com www.youtube.com/user/thomas94skywalker www.facebook.com/thomaswheeler94 www.twitter.com/thomaswheeler94 www.bebo.com/thomaswheeler94 www.scribd.com/thomaswheeler94 Xbox Gamertag – thomasnev94 (might be changing to either 'thomaswheeler94' or Qui-Tom' soon.