User:Thomas Simbo K./Healthcare in Senegal/Jfelmgart Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)Thomas Simbo K.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Healthcare in Senegal
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Healthcare in Senegal

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)


 * "According to a study done in 2017, 97.7% of households were not engaging in dentist annual visit." I would write it as "According to a study done in 2017, 97.7% of households were not visiting a dentist annually"
 * " The emersion of healthcare and medicine in Senegal is slow and faces barriers." I think you mean to say "immersion."
 * "According to studies," sounds pretty vague, I would put the specific study or say "studies were done on"
 * "In order to have better health outcomes in Senegal, the relationship between healthcare providers and patients - including their families - should involve care and trust. This will make patients more active during consultations and will allow them to receive better treatments. Healthcare providers should also be trained on how to present medicine to a person who has never been in contact with modern medicine" I would avoid using "should" and instead try something like "research suggests"
 * "Annuals contracts from the government give workers a stability knowing that they will be paid for the next 12 months." Just get rid of the "a"
 * "The article stated that assigning yearly contract may not be as effective on the long run, because workers do not stay in those regions after the end of their contract ." You should clarify what article stated that and then I would change it to be more encyclopedic voice.
 * Everything else looks great! Maybe add a picture if possible? Or some other type of media?