User:Thomas Simbo K./Healthcare in Senegal/Mahimasinha Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Thomas Simbo K.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Draft


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Healthcare in Senegal

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: Minor edits to the lead section. Edits make lead section clearer to read and add another example of medical personnel. Lead section could be edited to provide a better overview of the article, especially the part about disparities between rural and urban areas.

Content: Content added is relevant. Added more sources and evidence to sections of the article. Also added content to the health care utilization section. Added content is from recent years such as 2019, so it is up to date. All content fits under the sections that are included.

Tone and Balance: Tone is neutral and mostly stating statistics. Not clear if multiple viewpoints are being represented as most additions are adding extra support to claims that are already there. The part of health care utilization that says "According to studies, the relationship doctors have with their patients is critical . . ." feels more persuasive. This should be edited to be more neutral and encyclopedic.

Sources and References: New content is well cited with 7 new sources added. The content accurately reflects the sources. When introducing sources in paragraphs, maybe provide more detail on what they are instead of generally saying "a study." Sources are current as most are from 2010's. Written by a diverse spectrum of authors.

Organization: The content added is organized into the correct sections. It is difficult to follow the disparities between rural and urban areas section. It could be a little clearer. Other than that, the content is well written. Make sure to focus on using encyclopedic voice instead of essay voice.

Images and Media: None added.

Overall Impressions: Added content supports article well and adds new points. Content is well cited and provides evidence. Can be improved by using encyclopedic voice.