User:ThompskoNew/sandbox



= Week 10: Second Draft =


 * Morphological Section
 * Old additions about muscles: Studies have shown that there is a correlation between the branchiomeric muscles of vertebrates with the orobranchial muscles within the pharynx of chordates. These orobranchial muscles begin to develop in the early larval stages of the cephalochordates. The muscles eventually form into the adult hood during metaphorphsis. (I will add on more later, I just need to fully understand and research more)
 * New additions: Studies have shown that there is a correlation between the branchiomeric muscles of vertebrates with the orobranchial muscles within the pharynx of chordates. The branchiomeric muscles of vertebrates consist of the pharyngeal and laryngeal muscles whereas the orobranchial muscles of chordates consist of the gill and mouth muscles/cavity. These orobranchial muscles begin to develop in the early larval stages of the cephalochordates. The muscles eventually form into the adult hood during metamorphosis. Specific gene expression and neuron pathways suggest the homological connections between vertebrates and the nonvertebral cephalochordates. The Brachyury gene expression of the notochord is just one of the few genetic characteristics that give evidence to homological connections of the vertebral and cephalochordate. Although there are evolutionary connections between the two groups, their functions of the notochord are no longer the same over time. The notochord consists of striated muscles that form a tough, cylinder rod along the back of the cephalochordate. The notochord of the cephalochordate is functioned to allow body movement within their water environment whereas vertebrates use the notochord for body formation.
 * Feeding Section
 * Old changes/additions: Cephalochordates have developed a filter feeding system, called the oral hood, that serves as the entrance for incoming food particles. The free edge of the oral hood contains Buccal cirri, small filament-like projections, that assist in sifting out larger food particles before they enter the buccal cavity. These projections are chemoreceptors that stimulate the epithelial cilia lining inside the walls of the oral hood to bring food particles into the mouth. The coordinated movement of several ciliated tracts helps facilitate food ingestion through a rotating motion that is similar to that of a wheel, causing cilia to be referred to as “wheel organ”. One of these ciliated tracts located on the oral hood forms a ciliated cavity, called Hatschek's pit, which aids in food collection by secreting mucous into the buccal cavity to capture food particles. Located behind the buccal cirri is the velum, which acts as an internal filter before food enters the pharynx. The food particles adhere to secreted mucus on the pharyngeal bars before transferring to the epibranchial groove on the dorsal side of the pharynx. Food particles are then transported to the gut while excess water is pumped out of the pharynx through the pharyngeal slits. The excess water will exit the atrium using the single atriopore as it is excretes from the body."
 * New changes/additions (just added citations and simplifying/fixing words) : Cephalochordates have developed a filter feeding system, called the oral hood, that serves as the entrance for incoming food particles. The free edge of the oral hood contains Buccal cirri, small filament-like projections, that assist in sifting out larger food particles before they enter the buccal cavity. These projections are chemoreceptors that stimulate the epithelial cilia lining inside the walls of the oral hood to bring food particles into the mouth. The coordinated movement of several ciliated tracts help facilitate food ingestion through a rotating motion that is similar to that of a wheel, causing cilia to be referred to as “wheel organ”. One of these ciliated tracts located on the oral hood forms a ciliated cavity, called Hatschek's pit, which aids in food collection by secreting mucous into the buccal cavity to capture food particles. Located behind the buccal cirri is the velum, which acts as an internal filter before food enters the pharynx. The food particles adhere to secreted mucus on the pharyngeal bars before transferring to the epibranchial groove on the dorsal side of the pharynx. Food particles are then transported to the gut while excess water is pumped out of the pharynx through the pharyngeal slits. The excess water excretes from the body using a single atriopore of the atrium.

= Week 9: Checklist For Second Draft = Analyzing and reading the peer reviews I received from my first draft, I have a better understanding on what I need to work on for this next assignment. My Checklist is:

Dr. Schutz's Feedback:


 * Need to keep tabs on crosslinking with "Lancelets"
 * Need to simplify certain terms “branchiomeric muscles of vertebrates with the orobranchial" for those who do not fully understand these terms.

Peer Reviews:


 * adding citation and references to my paragraphs. I realized that I need to figure out how to properly reference articles so I do not intentionally plagiarize.
 * Need to show my edits in the feeding section. I can see where peer reviewers were having a hard timing trying to find what I changed to the feeding section as well as Noah's edits.
 * I need to decide whether to fuse my additions about the muscular system with the morphological section Noah is working on or making it its own section.
 * I need to definitely add more detail to the muscular section.
 * Make sure all of our edits on the feeding section are considered and added to make sure the feeding section is properly corrected.
 * I need to find more citations that will benefit my section about the muscles.

= Week 8: Peer Review = Mammologists


 * 1) Neutral content
 * 2) Brooke
 * 3) I would elaborate more on what you are editing based on hooves and limb of one toe ungulates.
 * 4) I would say where you adding and editing in the article so they are able to look through the original article and understand your edits.
 * 5) You say you want to add more visuals so for next draft I would try to find a visual you are wanting to input.
 * 6) Mckenzie
 * 7) I would try to input the original part you are editing so readers are able to see why you are changing things. You put "or" which can be confusing because I am not sure if they are both of your edits or one is the original and the other is your edit.
 * 8) Shelby
 * 9) Wow! You did a lot of work which is awesome and much appreciated by the article.
 * 10) I would move the original part before your draft so readers are able to read through the original work and see where you are editing throughout the paragraph.
 * 11) Reliable sources
 * 12) Brooke
 * 13) I would try to find sources for the limbs and hooves by looking at article describing these features and analyzing their sources. This could help find article for you.
 * 14) I see your bibliography buy no citations with your edits. Is the bibliography the article you are editing?
 * 15) McKenzie
 * 16) Way to cite your article! Super easy to find :)
 * 17) Shelby
 * 18) I see all of the sources but it was kind of hard to find which article you were adding/editing. I would do what McKenzie did to help direct readers.
 * 19) Clear structure:
 * 20) Is this draft well organized? Can you follow it easily?
 * 21) The drafts are well organized and I can follow easily. Although I feel like you guys should group together based on weeks because at first I did not see the group member names and only saw what is considered Brooke's edits.
 * 22) What pages will be edited?
 * 23) It looks like the anatomy sections of the hooves, limbs, skull, foot pads, teeth, and economic significance of hooved mammals.
 * 24) Who will do the editing/adding of what topics/ pages?
 * 25) Brooke will be editing the anatomy sections of the hooves, limbs, skull, and teeth. McKenzie will be editing the section about foot pads. Lastly, Shelby will be editing the economic significance.
 * 26) Does there seem to be an even distribution of contribution form all team members?
 * 27) Yes, I believe there is an evene distribution of contribution from all team members.
 * 28) What sorts of contributions with regard to images are planned?
 * 29) I only see one image about the anatomy of the hooves. With so many sections I believe maybe one image could be added.
 * 30) Do you see where this content might fit from the information provided?
 * 31) Yes; I would reference which article they are referring to so it is easier to locate.
 * 32) Integration: Does anything link up with something you or your team is working on? How can you help each other?
 * 33) I do not really believe our articles link up because I am working on cephalochordates. They are not mammals and do not really have the same features they are editing.

Shark Anatomists


 * 1) Neutral content
 * 2) Alyssa
 * 3) I liked how you gave a summary of what you are trying to edit/add
 * 4) Really great organization and labeling!
 * 5) Taylor
 * 6) Maybe more paragraphs broken so it is not clumped together. Although I see you put a lot of work into this and it really shows. Good job!
 * 7) Love the pic! Looks super cool. Maybe add more description to help readers understand why the image is needed for addition.
 * 8) Alexia
 * 9) Super fascinating topic and I loved reading your portion. Definitely has some great information that I can use as a conversation starter in the future.
 * 10) Reliable sources
 * 11) Alyssa
 * 12) Loved that you placed the main article at the very beginning of your topic so it was easy for me to find it.
 * 13) Taylor
 * 14) I would like if you put what the main article you are working on at the beginning like Alyssa and Alexia did to help readers be easily directed.
 * 15) Alexia
 * 16) Loved that you placed the main article at the very beginning of your topic so it was easy for me to find it.
 * 17) I see that you typed something that may need citations. the sentence involves "35,000 teeth in a lifetime". I might have missed the citation but I do not see it.
 * 18) Altogether, I loved how all of your references are together at the end and coordinated super well. Definitely organized to help readers find your sources.
 * 19) Clear structure:
 * 20) Is this draft well organized? Can you follow it easily?
 * 21) Yes; I think rearranging it to where your name is formatted first and by itself will help with stating who did what. Other than that, I can easily see who did what and what they edited/added.
 * 22) What pages will be edited?
 * 23) Multiple articles incorporating shark anatomy will be edited.
 * 24) Who will do the editing/adding of what topics/ pages?
 * 25) Alyssa will be working on the Integument and Muscles of shark anatomy. Taylor will be working on the five synapomorphies and internal organs of sharks. Alexia will be working on the teeth of sharks.
 * 26) Does there seem to be an even distribution of contribution form all team members?
 * 27) I like how everyone is doing something different and seems to be invested in editing their contributions.
 * 28) What sorts of contributions with regard to images are planned?
 * 29) I only see one image displaying the shark image for Taylor; other than that no images. Maybe more images showing the anatomy of their teeth or diagram of the five synapomorphies could help.
 * 30) Do you see where this content might fit from the information provided?
 * 31) Any extra information is always appreciated. Therefore, I believe there in depth explanations on the topics they chose will fit from the information already provided.
 * 32) Integration: Does anything link up with something you or your team is working on? How can you help each other?
 * 33) Yes! The five synapomorphies does link up with what my team is working on. I honestly thing you explained/edited well. I would maybe explain more on how cephalochordates evolved to sharks.

= Week 6: Editing Article as a Group =


 * Morphological Section
 * Noah's New/beginning Morphological Section: The general cephalochordate body plan is considered to be a dorsoventrally flipped version of earlier deuterostomes. Gene-expression studies on embryonic patterning suggest that body axis formation has inverted somewhere between hemichordates and chordates, where the ventral formation of body structures in earlier hemichordates is observed to be dorsal in cephalochordates.
 * My additions including muscles: Studies have shown that there is a correlation between the branchiomeric muscles of vertebrates with the orobranchial muscles within the pharynx of chordates. These orobranchial muscles begin to develop in the early larval stages of the cephalochordates. The muscles eventually form into the adult hood during metaphorphsis. (I will add on more later, I just need to fully understand and research more)
 * Feeding Section
 * Noah's new edits: "The oral hood serves as the entrance for incoming food particles. Buccal cirri, projections that originate from the free edge of the oral hood, assist in sifting out larger food particles before they enter the buccal cavity. Epithelial cilia lining the inside walls of the oral hood then bring the food particles into the mouth. The coordinated movement of several ciliated tracts helps facilitate food ingestion through a rotating motion that is similar to that of a wheel, causes cilia to be referred to as “wheel organ”. One of these ciliated tracts located on the oral hood forms a ciliated cavity, called Hatschek's pit, which aids in food collection by secreting mucous into the buccal cavity to capture food particles. Located behind the buccal cirri is the velum, which acts as an internal filter before food enters the pharynx. The food particles adhere to secreted mucus on the pharyngeal bars before being brought to the epibranchial groove on the dorsal side of the pharynx. Food particles are then transferred to the gut and excess water is pumped out of the pharynx through the pharyngeal slits. Excess water passes through the single atriopore as it is excreted from the body."
 * My changes/additions: Cephalochordates have developed a filter feeding system, called the oral hood, that serves as the entrance for incoming food particles. The free edge of the oral hood contains Buccal cirri, small filament-like projections, that assist in sifting out larger food particles before they enter the buccal cavity. These projections are chemoreceptors that stimulate the epithelial cilia lining inside the walls of the oral hood to bring food particles into the mouth. The coordinated movement of several ciliated tracts helps facilitate food ingestion through a rotating motion that is similar to that of a wheel, causing cilia to be referred to as “wheel organ”. One of these ciliated tracts located on the oral hood forms a ciliated cavity, called Hatschek's pit, which aids in food collection by secreting mucous into the buccal cavity to capture food particles. Located behind the buccal cirri is the velum, which acts as an internal filter before food enters the pharynx. The food particles adhere to secreted mucus on the pharyngeal bars before transferring to the epibranchial groove on the dorsal side of the pharynx. Food particles are then transported to the gut while excess water is pumped out of the pharynx through the pharyngeal slits. The excess water will exit the atrium using the single atriopore as it is excretes from the body."

= Week 5: Group Assignment = Abby Denn, Noah McGoff, and I are grouped together to focus on the Cephalochordate article.

What are we able to add?


 * new sections discussing their habitat, reproductive, more to the morphology section, and possible behavior
 * grammatical errors and sentence structure edits
 * formatting article for better flow
 * new image that presents a better display of cephalochordates (shown on the right).

Some articles that may be useful to incorporate:

The rest of the group work is located User:NoahMcGoff/Cephalochordates Group Assignment
 * 1) a review Development, Metamorphosis, Morphology, and Diversity: The Evolution of Chordate Muscles and the Origin of Vertebrates
 * 2) * Rui Diogo* and Janine M. Ziermann
 * 3) *Sections discuss about early evolution and jaw structure of cephalochordates
 * 4) * https://anatomypubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/dvdy.24245



= Week 4: Choosing an Article = The three article I would like edit, from most wanted to least wanted are:


 * 1) Cephalochordate
 * 2) * I would like to edit this article because I have already fixated on the article during the majority of this course and have a lot of critiques that would benefit the article.
 * 3) * I noticed a lot of grammatical and format errors that can extremely improve with the proper advice and critiques. There is also important information that is being left out that needs to be incorporated.
 * 4) *I would greatly appreciate if I was assigned this article because I have a lot of edits that is showing in week 3 that would benefit the article tremendously.
 * 5) Cat Anatomy
 * 6) *I would like to edit this article because I was able to dissect and study the cat anatomy in high school. Therefore, I may be able to input some of my knowledge within the article that could potentially add more details.
 * 7) *Although the article is extremely detailed, I believe there are certain sentences that can be formatted better to make the article more professional.
 * 8) Mammal
 * 9) *I would like to edit this article because I have a lot of knowledge about mammal anatomy and physiology. I am hoping to learn more information to educate myself as well as educate others with my own knowledge.
 * 10) *There is a large amount of information within this article. I believe the molecular classification of the article could add more detail and description to the different orders.

= Week 3: Editing an Article = Editing the Cephalochordate Article Individual Assignment 3/5

Held within the talk page of the Wikipedia article:

There are few editorial changes that can happen within this article. I would like to focus on the first section of the article. The first paragraph contained a few grammatical errors and improper sentence structure that can be improved with minor edits. I noticed that the 'they' was used a lot within this first paragraph. I believe this can be replaced with more professional wording like cephalochordates, potentially adding a few adjectives as well. I also notice in the first paragraph that the notochord only had excessive description after stating the five synapomorphies. There should be description about each individual synapomorphies to add more information to the article as well as educate readers on this topic.

The second paragraph I believe starts with a run-on sentence. I see a large amount of information within this sentence that it should be broken up into two sentences to emphasize the importance of this information. Next, I noticed that the words "no hard parts" was incorporated within the sentence. This can easily be replaced with "cephalochordates have no vertebrae or cranium, making it difficult to find fossil remnants". Lastly for the second paragraph, the last sentence does not flow with what is being discussed. the paragraph transitions to the structure of cephalochordates, to fossilization, then a single sentence about gill slits and separate sexes. There is no sentence before or after that explains the placement of this sentence. Therefore, I would recommend adding more information about these characteristics, move this sentence somewhere else in the article, or delete the sentence altogether.

Within the third paragraph, it is extremely short to even be considered a paragraph. A paragraph usually contains at least four sentences. I see the potential within this small paragraph, but it needs more information to flow from Point A to Point B. What evidence shows that the cephalochordates diverged away from the chordate subphylum? what factors allowed this to occur? Give the readers more information and understanding of the phylogeny that you discuss in the next sentence. This will allow the paragraph to have more structure and flow.

Feedback
Osquaesitor (talk) 16:55, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Great work drafting this here and then adding it to the talk page
 * Remember to "sign" your work after submission. Even though this is your sandbox and you do not need to do it, get into the habit
 * For your suggestions on additions, one thing to ALWAYS do it to check other pages that may have that content first. So perhaps a link to the specific page describing that structure or group of structures is a better idea.
 * One KEY think about Wikipedia is that you never want to duplicate content form one page to another.
 * Your suggestions for paragraph development are good, but again, cross check with the links to existing pages.
 * I think your suggestions have the potential to make this article much clearer and easier to read.

= Week 2: Evaluate an Article = Cephalochordate Article Individual Assignment 2/26

Observation:

'''When I first glanced at the article, I realized that it is extremely short. There is three paragraphs and a phylogeny: Origin/synapomorphies, Phylogenic background, and feeding. For the first paragraph, the sentences seem put together randomly and does not have a lot of context. For example, the paragraph states the 5 synapomorphies but does not go in depth on the cephalochordate characteristics. Luckily, there are plenty of links that provide this information. The second paragraph describes its phylogenic background, although, the article should explain more in depth on how the phylogeny is formed. Lastly, the paragraph describing feeding had a decent amount of information. There were a lot of citations that allowed more information, but the overall article lacked information and flow.'''

·      ''Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you?''

'''I believe that the article is relevant to the article topic, although, it does not seem to flow as well as it should. In the middle of the paragraph, the topic switched which made it very confusing. The paragraph needs to be broken up.'''

·      ''Is the article neutral? Are there any claims, or frames, that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?''

'''There is nothing about the article that appears biased towards a particular position. I believe the article is neutral and stayed on topic about the cephalochordates.'''

·      Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?

Many viewpoints within the article are underrepresented.

·      Are there any instances of plagiarism on the page?

I do not indicate any plagiarism on the page.

·       ''Check out the Talk page of the article. What kinds of conversations, if any, are going on behind the scenes about how to represent this topic?''

Multiple people say that there is such little information displayed in the article.

·      ''Did you choose to review one of the articles on comparative anatomists that I posted or did you find your own? here is some information for you to consider:''

·      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racial_bias_on_Wikipedia

·      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Writing_about_women

'''I did choose to review one of the articles on comparative anatomists that you posted. It was the article about the cephalochordates.'''

Cephalochordates Article Notes
 * Wikipedians often talk about "content gaps." What do you think a content gap is, and what are some possible ways to identify them?
 * content gaps are areas where information is vague or does not contain the information needed. You can identify them by noticing vague details with specific information.
 * What are some reasons a content gap might arise? What are some ways to remedy them?
 * Research in the field may lack, the person writing the information may lack knowledge
 * More education to help remedy content gap
 * Does it matter who writes Wikipedia?
 * It does but it does not. There is a certain criteria for having an account to help manage creditable sources.
 * What does it mean to be "unbiased" on Wikipedia? How is that different, or similar, to your own definition of "bias"?
 * unbiased on wikipedia potentially means that you are using multiple sources and not just one. My own definition of bias is being very opinionated and picky.