User:Thomsaleme/Eugene J. de Sabla, Jr., Teahouse and Tea Garden/StaceySmithOSU Peer Review

Prof. Smith comments on first draft of Wikipedia article
Hi Thomas,

Here are my comments on improvements I'd like to see and questions I have about your article.

Lead

Could you mention just a tiny bit about the significance of the garden and teahouse style here in the intro? (Higurashi-en or Shin style hill garden). These might be important facts for people who are interested in these gardens. It seems like they have quite a following.

Content

I would like to see you insert links to the Wikipedia articles for the key figures, places, and concepts into the body of the article. You can do this by highlighting the text of the item and then clicking the little chain link icon at the top of the editing panel. Wikipedia will automatically search and generate a list of possible matches you can choose. So, for instance, you would want to highlight Makoto Hagiwara with your cursor, click the chain link icon at the top of the screen, and add a link to his Wikipedia article: Makoto Hagiwara I would put in similar links for all the major figures and places in the article.

Can you specify what the anti-Asian law in San Francisco entailed?

Could you say a bit more about the garden's significance as the only surviving example of Makoto Hagiwara's work on private estates in the US? Is that a fact that got the location on the National Register? Is it a popular place for Japanese garden enthusiasts to visit because it is a rare example of his work?

Style

This generally looks good, but do polish and proofread to eliminate passive voice and run-on/wordy sentences. I'm generally advising all students to work on polishing before they finalize the article.

Sources

These look great!