User:Thouston7/Mason Temple/Deep sea coral Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Thouston7


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Thouston7/new sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mason Temple

Evaluate the drafted changes
I cannot see any changes yet on the article in the sandbox versus the article on Wikipedia. The only difference is in the sandbox, the copy-pasted version left out the lead section. So maybe I should just review the Wikipedia content.

The lead section is good, but it does not mention that the building was where Martin Luther King Jr. gave his last speech. Since I think that is the main reason people know about it and visit it in Memphis who don't belong to the Church, I think that should be in the lead section.

I think for the next section, the abbreviation of the Church's name could be in parenthesis, and instead, in the commas, it could be mentioned again that Charles Mason Harris was also that Church's founder.

A reason could be given for why the Church grew fast in TN, maybe because of the large African American population?

The next sentence, "Many black leaders...." sounds sort of clunky. I think it could be changed to sound stronger and clearer.

In the next section, it is not clear to me what the "original Tabernacle" would be.

A date could be given for the building's completion, with a new section after that for the description of the building.

The sources look pretty good, especially the first one, about Charles Mason Harris, and the last one. The second source said the page couldn't be found.

I read in the last source that Mason Temple was famous for other people besides Martin Luther King Jr. holding meetings or concerts there. There could be a section for those people.

I was also interested in the fact that Mason Temple cost around a 1/4 million dollars to build. That could be mentioned in the part where they are raising the money to build it.

I liked the picture of the plaque by the Mason Temple. It looked fine with the copyright thing. There was also a good picture of the outside of the Mason Temple. It sounds impressive on the inside, so an inside photo would be great, too.

The article seems pretty neutral already.

General Suggestions: This is a very short article and can definitely be improved. I think the role of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at the Church could be expanded. How big was the crowd the day he was there? Did anyone else speak? All that could be put in a separate section about him and the Mason Temple. Then there could be some other sections, one for a brief bio of Charles Mason Harris and maybe why he picked Memphis for the building of the Mason Temple. Another section could talk about the other famous people who have been at the Mason Temple besides Martin Luther King Jr.

The article could be written with the grammar/spelling a little better as well. There is a "the" that is spelled wrong, (sandbox version) and the semicolon is a little awkward in the part about Martin Luther King Jr. and the next day him being shot. However, I think the main thing in changing this article would be to get it clearer to the reader what the Mason Temple church building is famous for in Memphis, and to tell the reader a little more about the founder of the church it is for, Charles Mason Harris. This is a good article to change because it is short and also because it deals with two important gaps in Wikipedia content: African American History, and Religion. I am looking forward to seeing the completed article!