User:Tiazjane/4B (movement)/LilIlyich Peer Review

General info
Tiazjane, Smcusher, Kiggykissy, LakersGoat, Atlas002
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Tiazjane/4B (movement)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):4B (movement)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Compared to the original wiki page, this is a great improvement. However, I think that this article lacks a clear lead section that can serve as a roadmap for understanding the other ideas mentioned throughout the page. Would it be possible to rename the wiki page? The title "4B (movement)" feels very obscure, and it's a shame since it sounds like a really cool concept to focus on. :)

At times, the flow of the article feels fragmented. (?) Some of the concepts mentioned don't appear to be fully contextualized or elaborated on. Surely there are other Korean feminist concepts and ideas that inform the 4B movement. There also seems to be a lack of other related wiki pages linked to this article. The tone of the article at times does not read as neutral.

"This crisis is exacerbated by the country’s deeply ingrained patriarchal culture and the economic insecurity experienced by young adults. These factors contribute to women’s reluctance to embrace traditional roles of marriage and motherhood."

"The 4B movement serves as a direct opposition to the patriarchal state and pro-natalist policies that view women's bodies and reproductive abilities as tools for the state's future. Korean feminists engaged in the 4B movement actively resist the various ways in which gendered expectations are enforced in a conservative society. This resistance involves not only withdrawing from dating but also rejecting the prevalent beauty standards and associated consumerist practices in the country."

These are some critical claims being made and there are no citations attached to them. I think these excerpts could benefit from being reworded and expanded on for greater emphasis on their importance regarding the topic.

i think yall also have to fix the bibliography page and link the new sources referenced.. good luck !!!!!!