User:TierraLamore/Breakup

Breakup
A relationship breakup, breakup, or break-up is the termination of a relationship. The act is commonly termed "dumping [someone]" in slang when it is initiated by one partner. The term is less likely to be applied to a married couple, where a breakup is typically called a separation or divorce. When a couple engaged to be married breaks up, it is typically called a "broken engagement". People commonly think of breakups in a romantic aspect, however, there are also non-romantic and platonic breakups, and this type of relationship dissolution is usually caused by failure to maintain a friendship.

Susie Orbach (1992) has argued that the dissolution of dating and cohabiting relationships can be as painful as or more painful than divorce because these nonmarital relationships are less socially recognized.

Kamiar-K. Rueckert argues with the works of Donald Winnicott that the ability to be alone is an essentially healthy sign of emotional development and maturity. Once a child has obtained closeness and attachment by their early caregivers, they are able to develop autonomy and identity. If children have not introjected the good and protective qualities of their parents, they will fear separation and break-ups.

Models
Several psychological models have been proposed to explain the process of a relationship breakup, many suggesting that relationship dissolution occurs in stages. Mark Knapp, a foundational scholar on the subject of interpersonal relationships, created a model called Knapp’s Relational Development Model. He describes two separate phases of relationships, coming together and coming apart.

'''The coming together phase is meant to be long-term, beginning in the initiation phase and becoming deeper with time and intimacy. In the coming apart phase, differentiating begins. This is when the individuals began noticing differences that may seem unnegotiable or place pressure on the relationship. This leads to circumscribing where the individuals begin to pull apart, set boundaries, and have their own independent lives. This may cause issues to arise. At this point, the relationship reaches stagnation where the couple stays together for other reasons rather than their will to do so. Examples include children. The next stage is avoidance in which the individuals try to stay away from each other as much as possible. They, then, reach termination, where the relationship is over and they go their separate ways.'''

Consequences
'''Depending on the individual, breakups can be stressful, unpleasant, and traumatic events. Both parties could feel a large number of negative effects as a result of the relationship's dissolution, and these events often gain the reputation for being some of the worst events in people's lives. These could include psychological distress symptoms, grief reactions, an overall decline in psychological well-being, and potential stalking behaviors. Individuals often work hard to keep their relationships intact because of how significantly distressing and problematic these negative effects can be, even in the face of potential complications in their relationship, for as long as they can bear it.'''

Positive Effects
Evidence shows that even in the direst of situations, there is a chance for positive emotions and growth. Breakups are no different, giving victims opportunities for stress-related growth, improving their performance in future relationships, and providing feelings of relief and freedom. '''Jessica Kansky and Joseph P. Allen conducted a study that followed 160 20 to 25-year-olds, or emerging adults, and observed their romantic and close friend relationships. There were a significant number of findings, but one finding was that the experience of a break-up did prove positive in the long run for several individuals, especially if they knew the reason(s) the relationship ended.'''

Attachment Styles
'''Attachment styles can play a big role in why a breakup occurs in the first place. Attachment styles define the expectations an individual has when in a relationship based on the relationship they had with their caregivers during childhood. The four attachment styles are Avoidant Attachment ( which is characterized by avoiding communication and withdrawing), Anxious / Ambivalent Attachment ( which is characterized by fear that a partner will not reciprocate the same love that the individual gives), Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment (which is characterized by a fear of relationships and attempts to avoid them even while craving love and intimacy), and Secure Attachment (which is the style that is characterized by strong, healthy relationships). These attachment styles can affect the behavior of one partner towards another and different attachment styles can clash. For instance, if one partner has an avoidant attachment and dates someone with a secure attachment style, the two partners may clash due to a lack of communication and several misunderstandings as these attachment styles come with expectations that are acted out in behavior that can eventually lead to a breakup.'''

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Online Break ups-New Section
The technologically advanced society that currently exists means that much of people’s lives are online. People can date online via dating apps or using social media platforms such as Instagram or Facebook. Many relationships have been able to manifest from mediated communication and last a similar amount of time as relationships that were started in person. Others, however, have not been as long-lived. The presence of social media and technology also plays a part in relationships that began and exist in person, as well. There has been much controversy about the stress that online dating places on relationships. The constant and wide range of accessibility provided by technology and internet access can lead to a plethora of issues that may result in break-ups. An example of this is that those already in a relationship can have multiple partners that are also dating using online platforms that have no knowledge of each other due to the unlimited access they have to meet people from all over the world. Once a partner discovers the infidelity, this could result in a breakup. Online dating may also prohibit choices that could save a relationship. To further elaborate, many times in relationships, space is necessary to collect thoughts and feelings after an argument, however, the usage of social media allows access to one’s partner at all times. This constant accessibility may result in disruption of both space and boundaries necessary for a healthy relationship.

LGBTQ Relationship Dissolutions- New Section
While public opinion has become more accepting of different forms of relationships, including those that are not heterosexual, LGBTQ couples often face adversity when it comes to maintaining their relationships due to societal-based homophobia. According to researchers Lahti and Kolehmainen, studies have shown that LGBTQ couples tend to feel pressured by society to maintain long, monogamous, and healthy relationships. They may struggle in silence and refuse to seek help or end a relationship when it may be in their best interest mentally and emotionally because of this pressure. Their studies also indicate that most counseling services, or other means of salvaging a relationship, have heteronormative assumptions. This makes it difficult for LGBTQ couples to find help for their relationships that caters to the issues they struggle with personally.

Other unique issues arise out of LGBTQ relationship dissolutions when children are involved. According to researchers Goldberg and Allen, LGBTQ separations involving children can become legally confusing. In lesbian relationships, there are two mothers, so the question arises of who would receive full custody of the child(ren). Many times, the court system favors the birth mother, however, in lesbian relationships, one mother could carry the egg of another, so it becomes challenging to determine who the child(ren) biologically belongs to. In gay male relationship dissolutions, this also causes confusion as the majority of gay male parents adopted their children. Due to the heteronormative society that currently exists, LGBTQ couples often deal with challenges post-break-up.

There is a lack of research on LGBTQ relationship dissolutions as these relationships are fairly recent to acceptance and legality in history.