User:Tiffanyrodi/Anorexia nervosa/Haleymck Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Tiffanyrodi


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tiffanyrodi/Anorexia_nervosa?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Anorexia nervosa

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Tiffany! I like what you have proposed so far, I think it's interesting you're adding this to your article as I have not even learned about this. I did notice in your statement, I believe it was the third paragraph, where you said 'This is also a time when most older individuals experience a rise in conflict with family members, which increases the likelihood of an issue'. I think that taking out 'the likelihood of an issue' and adding something more specific like 'increases the likelihood of the development of depression or anxiety that causes anorexia'. You don't have to use that per say, but clarification would make that sentence make sense to me. Keep up the good work!