User:Tikomkheidze/Black maternal mortality in the United States/Lr775 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Tiko & Tamiya's


 * Draft I'm reviewing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tikomkheidze/Black_maternal_mortality_in_the_United_States?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Black maternal mortality in the United States
 * Black maternal mortality in the United States

Evaluate the drafted changes
Introduction


 * Your reworking of the introduction is great. It is well written and is a good introduction to the topic and what will be covered in the rest of the Wikipedia page. You cover most of the sections and give a brief and succinct introduction to what will be discussed throughout the article.
 * I might suggest adding a sentence or two about prevention to this introduction, so that readers will know to expect a section about prevention. Even a brief sentence stating that there are both institutional and medical preventative measures being taken etc. would be sufficient!
 * There are citations missing throughout the introductory paragraphs, which are quick fixes. Each statistic should be cited, even if the source as the same sentence as before.
 * Overall, I think this is a really strong introduction that does what an introduction is supposed to do in a clear and concise manner. It provides a full overview of the article and introduces the reader to Black Maternal Mortality if they are coming to this page unfamiliar with it.

Prevention


 * Splitting the section into two sub-sections was a great choice! It makes the information flow better and is a great way to organize this information.
 * The sentence about insurance at the end of the medical section is a great point, but that might be better placed in the institutional sub-section? It's totally up to you, because it sort of fits in both sections, but that is just a thought I had while reading.
 * Again, there are some citations missing on sentences here, but otherwise this is a great reworking of the previous prevention section.
 * I think this section could also be expanded upon slightly to include more examples of preventative measures being taken in both categories
 * For example, more examples of programs that states and cities are beginning or specific institutional measures. Adding more examples would strengthen the work.

Overall: I think you do a good job of keeping the tone balanced and neutral (an improvement from the original version) and presenting the evidence in a clear and convincing manner. The sources provide strong evidence for the facts you are stating and adding in citations to the few places they are missing will only add to the strength of your work.

I also think you utilize WikiLinks well to link out to other relevant articles -- I don't think there are any I would suggest adding!

I do see a lot of potential for adding to the 'see also' section at the bottom, linking out to articles that people reading this page might be interested in reading as well!

Grammar/ spelling and all that stuff looks good!